A raindrop for tomtoru001! (2/3)

[stormies]

That Saturday, Sho didn’t feel like going jogging, or going out at all for that matter, and after informing Jun that he wouldn’t be taking part in their usual exercise session, he sank into his couch.

Two days had now passed since Aiba went away in tears, and Sho still couldn’t get that image out of his mind. Even if he had seen Aiba crying many times, that was the first time he’d seen him in such despair, and it all was because of him.

If he hadn’t let himself be carried on, his friend wouldn’t be now holding onto the hope that Sho could finally be his. However, what was once an utopia, was now becoming a possible reality the more he thought about it. Even if he didn’t want to admit it, he knew that his mind was considering a relationship with Aiba as one of the outcomes of this mess.

“You’re in love.”

What stopped Sho to recognize that as truth was that, if he really had to fall for Aiba, then why not 10 years ago? When they first met? It would have been more logical for that to happen in those days; moreover, Aiba wouldn’t have moved away if they had gotten together, most likely. Was he really considering this because, thanks to his powers, he began to consider Aiba a man, and not only the kid who used to fall asleep waiting for their classes to start?

“I wonder how would I feel, if I saw the 20-year-old Aiba now?” he asked himself.

His eyes fell on the cabinet under his bookshelves. He pondered a while on whether to do it or not, but eventually stood up to take his photo albums, the ones from his school and university days, filled with pictures of his friends. He flipped through them, going from middle school to high school, until he found what he was looking for.

Sitting down on the carpet, he began to observe the nostalgic pictures from the time he was at university. They had all been taken digitally, but Sho insisted on having them printed as well, so he would have a hardcopy in case they were lost for any reason. And now, he understood his past self for having taken such a decision.

Every single picture, from the silliest to the most serious, was meaningful to Sho. The one where they were celebrating the success of their group project, the one where Sho broke his thumb and Ohno was drawing on his cast, the one where Aiba brought them to his family’s restaurant... All had equal significance in Sho’s heart.

His finger, tracing the pages of the album, brought him to the ones of their graduation. They were all grinning from ear to ear, overjoyed to have finally finished university. They were now free to do everything they wanted to do, and they were impatient to start their new life.

Moving to the next page, there were the pictures of their last trip together. It was at that time that they learnt about Aiba’s imminent departure. Sho remembered to have noticed that the guy wasn’t as enthusiastic as he wanted to show, but he dismissed that as simple nervousness for that important step.

If he had known about his feelings, would he have stopped him?

His eyes fell on a picture of Aiba, Ohno and him, leaning on a railing, with Hakone in the background. Sho – the one who took the picture – and Ohno were looking into the camera, while Aiba had his eyes on Sho, sneakily looking at him. He touched his friend’s face, spotting a bit of melancholy in his eyes.

“It must have taken a lot of courage to leave everything behind, right, Aiba-kun?” he said, as if he could speak with the young man in the picture.

Looking at him, he smiled and felt warmth spread in his chest, but he wasn’t sure if it was just nostalgia or unexpected feelings. He proceeded to look at other pictures, and the more he analyzed, the more he realized that Aiba undoubtedly stared at him a lot. As if, no matter what amazing scenery they had in front of them, to him, Sho was better.

Finally, he came to the last page of their trip, where he found a picture he didn’t remember to have. Judging by the background – Aiba’s car – it was taken during their way home. They had taken turns at the time, and at that moment, it must have been Ohno’s turn, because only he could have taken a picture of them sleeping in the backseat.

Maybe after stopping at a rest stop, the guy had noticed his friends and had decided to capture that moment: Aiba’s head was leaning on Sho’s shoulder, as they both had their arms crossed in the same, specular, pose. One of Aiba’s hands, though, wasn’t resting on his own upper arm, but on Sho’s.

He had to admit that, looking at the picture, they didn’t look that bad together. Even Ohno had told him the other time that they would look good, so, why didn’t all this happen years ago? What reason did the world have to make it happen now?

Could it be that he was gifted these powers for the sake of falling in love with Aiba? And if so, why now, of all times? Why not before Aiba gradually disappeared from their lives, becoming more distant with every call and text, until he all but faded away?

Having gained only more questions and not answers from his digging into the past, Sho put back the albums and moved to the window, staring at the sky. He sighed, and silently wondered what the hell was in store for him from now on.


🍒 🍒 🍒


Despite it being the middle of February, Sho was sweating under his suit. Being in Aiba’s office, and with the art curator in front of himself, after everything that happened, was raising his temperature to massive levels. He kept on loosening his tie and fixing his collar, since he felt suffocating.

On the contrary, Aiba was calm, way too calm, for his standards. Since the man had always been someone easy to read, his every thought clearly showing up on his face, it seemed weird to Sho to find him so… relaxed. Or rather, distant.

Well, he couldn’t blame him, since it was Sho himself who asked for time to think, but yet he didn’t expect Aiba to drop every act of fondness towards him. This way, they just appeared to be two people doing business together, and he didn’t like it at all.

He couldn’t believe that Aiba was fine. There must have been something going on, so he decided to use his powers on purpose for the first time.

Pretending that his pen was out of ink, he asked the other for one, “Aiba-kun, do you happen to have another pen?”

“Sure,” Aiba replied. Opening his bag, he took out his spare pen and passed it to Sho.

He rejoiced internally, since he had schemed to let their fingers brush, but to his surprise, Aiba retrieved his hand too hastily for him to read his thoughts. He had to think about another plan, and luckily, the memory of their lunch together came to his mind.

Sho carefully stretched out his leg under the table, until his foot was touching the other’s. Finally, they were connected, and finally, he could be in Aiba’s mind.

‘...’

Wait, what? He raised an eyebrow, and tried to focus. Maybe he needed more concentration to have his powers work this time.

‘...’

Sho even tried to get his foot closer, nonetheless, he couldn’t hear anything. How was it even possible? His powers were working just fine in the subway this morning, so it couldn't be that. Could it be, instead, that Aiba wasn’t thinking of anything? As unlikely as it may sound, perhaps, even someone like Aiba could have some days in which his mind was blank.

Especially after I broke his heart after all… He reasoned. Eventually, he put his foot back under his chair, giving up on reading the other’s thoughts.

“We’ll host the exhibition for the whole month of April. Our current exhibition will end at the beginning of March, so we’ll have until the end of it to prepare our gallery for Oh-chan’s works. Is that fine with you?”

“Yes,” he nodded, “When will it be possible to have the exact date of starting and end?”

“By the first week of March.”

“Alright, perfect, thank you.”

Aiba smiled at him, but it was nothing close to his usual smiles. It wasn’t bright, nor warm, and that had Sho feeling down once again, since the reason for all this was him. But what was he even expecting? Aiba had just cut him out in the end, and rightly so, since his feelings had been one-sided for all this time. Or up until now. He didn’t know, he was a mess and he wanted to run away from there as soon as possible.

“Hello, Aiba-kun, Sakurai-san.”

He was so lost in thought that he did not realize that Ninomiya had come into the office.

“Hello, Ninomiya-san,” he greeted back, putting on his coat.

“Aiba-kun and I are going to lunch, would you like to come along again?” Ninomiya said, adding right after, “Promise that I won’t disappear this time.”

He chuckled at that comment, and was actually pondering the idea of joining them. However, he was cut off because he could even say anything before a voice interrupted  him.

“Sho-chan’s busy today, he can’t come with us.”

Sho’s eyes flipped to Aiba, as he felt an uncomfortable feeling spreading out in his stomach – and no, it certainly wasn’t hunger. They hadn’t talked about his schedule at all, and he didn’t even mention anything regarding any other meeting after this. So, why did Aiba tell Ninomiya such a thing? Moreover, while Sho was still in the room and could have said something to deny that? Why did he take such a risk, just to turn the man’s invitation down?

And then, Sho realized.

Aiba surely knew that Sho was fast to pick up hints, that’s why he did that. That way, he had indirectly told him that he didn’t want him around, so that Sho would go away without saying anything else.

I heard you loud and clear, Aiba-kun. He thought, looking down at the floor.

“Ah, I see. Well, next time then!” Ninomiya chirped. He was the only lively person in the room, and that said a lot about Sho’s and Aiba’s current condition.

Through the long way to the gallery’s exit, Sho walked gloomily next to the two friends, who were instead chatting about the last episode of an anime that had aired the day before. That was the first time in his life that he felt unwanted and out of place, and the fact that it happened next to Aiba made him suffer even more.

Climbing down the stairs and finally on the sidewalk, Sho whispered his goodbyes to the two gallery’s employees. He didn’t bother to wait for them to reply, and walked away visibly dejected.


🍒 🍒 🍒


Sho arrived at the studio one hour later, welcomed by Ohno’s and Jun’s lively greetings.

“Sho-san, hello! I’ve finally managed to drop by and see Ohno-san’s artworks,” his friend said, before changing his cheerful expression to a concerned one, “What happened, Sho-san? You don’t look well.”

Ohno turned towards him as well, and agreed with the other, “That’s true. What happened? Something’s wrong?”

Sho forced himself to smile a bit to reassure his two friends, even if he knew he couldn’t lie to them, “I’m just a bit tired.”

Thankfully, the two men didn’t question him any further, surely getting that he wasn’t even in the mood to talk, and let him slip into the living area, where he crashed on the couch.

He stared blankly at an indefinite point on the floor, recalling Aiba’s behavior, and trying to find at least a hint that told him that his friend hadn’t pushed him away yet. Still, he found nothing and he sighed deeply.

“Hey, I brought some food if you want any,” Jun said pointing to the coffee table in front of the couch.

“Thanks, but I’m not really hungry right now.”

Jun threw a glance behind his shoulder, and after checking that Ohno was lost in his painting, he sat down next to Sho. “Is this about Aiba-san?”

He nodded, downcast. “He was distant today.”

“Because of that night?”

Sho remembered that Jun wasn’t aware yet of the last happenings in their relationship, and he fished out his phone from his pocket to show him his and Aiba’s private chat. “Because of this.”

As Jun read the texts, the astonishment in his face grew bigger, until he glanced at Sho with wide eyes. He passed his phone back to him in silence. That was a weird attitude for his friend, whom he knew had always a remark to make or a comment to say.

“What? You don’t have anything to say?”

“I’ve already told you what I think about it the other day.”

Sho leaned in to murmur to be sure that Ohno wouldn’t hear them, “Do you really think that I fell in love for real? And that it’s not just my mind tricking me?”

“I can only tell you my opinion, but it’s up to you to figure out what you really feel,” his friend told him honestly.

“And what am I supposed to do to figure these feelings out?”

“You need a moment that makes you understand that you, in fact, love Aiba-san. You know, the famous moment of ‘realization’ that happens in movies.”

Sho chuckled sadly, “Well, with Aiba-kun avoiding me, I doubt that’s going to happen at all.”

Straightening his back, Jun moved his body to face his. Evidently, what he had just said had intrigued him. “Is he avoiding you?”

“I mean, I understand that I have asked for time, but he was too distant to be doing that…”

“And so, now you’re upset.”

He didn’t reply to that, too embarrassed to admit it, so he limited himself to cross his arms and look away. That gained an amused smirk from the other.

Patting his shoulder, Jun then suggested, “Listen, Sho-san, why don’t we change our plan?”

“What do you mean?” Sho asked, his eyes back on the other.

“At the party, instead of introducing him to someone else, we’ll have you two talk about your, well, situation.”

“Absolutely not,” he refused without delay. He didn’t wait for Jun to ask the reason why, because he explained himself right after, “If these end up being not true feelings, Aiba-kun wouldn’t gain anything. Instead, if we still keep on with the plan, he could at least have somebody by his side.”

“Sho-san—”

“At the party, I will give you my final answer over this matter. But just in case, find a suitable person to set him up with.”

“You sure?”

“Yes, it’s for the best.”

Without adding anything else, Sho picked up the briefcase he had previously placed on the table and approached Ohno. The man was sitting down while staring at one of his paintings, with his head tilted on the side.

“Ohno-kun, can I ask you a favor?”

The artist looked up, surprised, as if suddenly coming back to reality. “Sure, what is it?”

“Can you ask Aiba-kun to come to Funky Hamlet’s party? And tell him to extend the invite to Ninomiya-san as well.”

“I can do that, but why don’t you do it yourself?”

“I…” he trailed off. Because things are weird between us, he thought, but he couldn’t give such an answer, otherwise his friend would have worried and inquired about it. So, he lied, “I’m quite busy.”

“It’s just a text, though?”

“Anyway,” he exclaimed, making him understand that he wouldn’t accept a negative answer, “I have to go now, have fun, guys.”

Greeting his friends, he exited the place under the confused gaze of Ohno and the troubled one of Jun.


🍒 🍒 🍒


In the end, the day had arrived, and Sho went into Funky Hamlet with a heavy heart. The deafening silence coming from Aiba’s side had certainly made him understand that the other had given up on him, and so that it was useless to wonder about the nature of his feelings, since he wouldn’t be able to do anything with it anyway.

He was actually glad about it, because he wouldn’t want to lose a friend like Aiba, if – hopefully –  he would still let him be by his side. Sure, things could be awkward at first, but as soon as this uncomfortable sensation that he felt inside himself would go away, things would go back the way they were. He didn’t know what it was, but whatever it was, it was going to disappear eventually.

And that was the explanation he gave to Jun when he asked him if he was sure that he wanted to go through with their plan.

“You promise me that you’re sure?” Jun asked for umpteeth time.

“Yes, Jun-kun, I’m sure.”

His best friend nodded, “Alright, as long as you’re fine with it.”

He was going to reassure him once again, but someone tapped him on his shoulder. Turning, he saw Ohno, who seemed to be slouching even more than usual. Apparently, someone had recognized him as soon as he’d stepped into the restaurant, so Sho had pushed him to have a conversation with them. Ohno’s social battery was usually running low as it were, and his already tired face was somehow cute to Sho, so he affectionately pinched his cheek.

“Enjoying the fame, artist?”

“Please, I just want to go back to my studio,” Ohno moved his face away from his hand, before pointing behind himself, “Anyway, Aiba-chan and Ninomiya-san are here.”

Bringing his eyes to the restaurant’s entrance, he saw the last guests arrive at the party, and among them, the two Chartreuse employees. They weren’t wearing any fancy or particularly refined suits, unlike others, because it was clear that they weren’t there to show off or anything of the sort. None of them was a big shot, but there was a certain elegance to them that had Sho lingering on their figures, especially on Aiba’s. He was truly gorgeous, and when their eyes met, he felt his breath taken away.

The two men approached them, and introduced themselves to Jun, congratulating him on the party.

“I’ve never been here since I prefer cheap restaurants, but this Funky Hamlet seems great,” said Ninomiya, looking around.

“I’m glad about that. I hope to see you soon here, then.”

“Only if someone pays for me.”

“I certainly won’t be that person, though,” Jun replied, not missing a beat.

Aiba, Ohno and Sho weren’t even trying to suppress their laughter as they saw their back and forth. Unfortunately, Jun had to excuse himself to give his welcoming speech, which would give the official start to the party, so they couldn’t hear more of that.

Jun went to stand at the far back of the room, at the center, holding a flute. Doing long, deep and pompous speeches was his specialty, and even if Sho was quite good with words himself, he could have never beaten his best friend. He knew what to say to move people’s hearts, and most importantly, how to say it.

“Truly a crime not giving you Hamlet’s role,” was the first thing he said when Jun came back. He whispered it in his ear, so as to not expose him.

Jun rolled his eyes, and then invited them all to take some drink and food from the buffet.

When he was in front of the table to see what Jun’s chefs had prepared, he felt someone approach him. He was almost startled seeing Aiba’s bright smile that close to his face.

“Hey,” said the man.

“Hey,” he replied, not managing to hide his nervous tone.

“What are you getting?”

“I don’t know yet. You?” he asked back.

“I don’t have any idea, there’s too much food,” Aiba joked.

Sho felt happy that they seemed to get on just fine, even after what happened – or rather, didn’t – between them. However, that joy lasted briefly because Ninomiya sneaked in between them, already filling his plate.

“Sorry guys, I just love free food.”

“Nino, please, put on a good demeanor,” Aiba hissed.

“Aren’t we here to eat anyway?”

Just like before, Ninomiya began to throw around his witty comments and jokes. Somehow, Sho didn’t seem to enjoy that as he did when the man was doing it with Jun. He wasn’t even finding him funny, unlike Aiba, who instead was having a hard time containing his giggles. The uncomfortable sensation in him had now become harsher, unbearable, and he found himself saying, “Maybe I should ask for Jun-kun’s advice,” and leaving, without even checking if the other two had caught his words.

Even if he had vowed to not drink anymore the night before a working day, he found himself chunking down two glasses of champagne in less than one minute. If he wanted to survive, he needed alcohol running in his body, and what’s more, I have to keep a distance from Aiba, he thought.

He grabbed some random food and moved to a group of the restaurant’s employees, whom he knew quite well by now. He blended in, and hoped that Jun would come soon to his rescue with Aiba’s date.



Sho checked his watch and saw that it was already 10:30 PM. He had spent the whole time busying himself with greetings and talking with everyone but Aiba and Ninomiya. Sometimes, he would throw a glance at them, and he always managed to cross gaze with Aiba. He would look away immediately at that point, not even sending a nod in the other’s direction.

Why do I feel so… angry?

Just as he was about to move on to the next group of people, he was stopped by Jun.

“Sho-san, I’ve found the one.”

“The one?” he asked, confused.

Jun got closer, whispering, “Aiba-san’s date.”

“A-Ah, I see,” he stuttered.

“He’s an art curator just like Aiba-san, and he is overall a very nice guy,” Jun told him, visibly proud of his choice.

“Good.”

“Alright, then, I’ll go play cupid,” Jun said before going away.

Sho would have really wanted to laugh at that, but he didn’t find it in him to do that. Moreover, his mood had just dropped instantly, way lower than it already was, and he decided to just call it a day and go away. He had approved Jun’s pick, so there wasn’t any other reason for him to be there.

He started to walk away, wishing to get away from all that quickly, but he was once again stopped in his tracks. He was going to snap at whoever it was, but froze when he found Aiba before his eyes.

“A-Aiba-kun?”

“Sho-chan, I need to tell you something, do you know if we can move somewhere more,” Aiba asked, looking around, “Private?”

Feeling his throat suddenly dry, Sho gulped down to no avail. Reasoning that turning him down wouldn’t be right, he hid his slightly trembling hands in his pockets, before nodding, “Sure, come with me.”

He led them outside, in the restaurant’s garden, and then went to the area which was usually reserved to the staff and that was unused on this occasion. When they stood in front of each other, they were both clearly very nervous, but Aiba was on another level, since he looked like a teenager about to confess his feelings to the person they liked.

Sho’s body stiffened at that though. He is not going to… or is he? No, it can’t be. He has set me aside, hasn’t he?

“So? What is it?” he asked, rather urgently.

Aiba took a deep breath, and finally spoke, “I’m sorry, Sho-chan.”

That took Sho aback. Did he hear correctly? What was Aiba talking about?

“Why are you apologizing?”

“For everything.”

Sho was going to say something but he closed his mouth when he realized that Aiba hadn’t finished yet, or rather, that he hadn’t even started.

“I bet you already understood everything, so you should know why I acted that way that night. Even if I knew that I had to hold back, when you told me that you wouldn’t mind being kissed by me, when you didn’t close the door for me, I lost it.” Aiba, who had looked at the ground up until now, finally raised his eyes to look him in the eyes. “The person I had always desired with all my body and soul has basically made me understand that there could have been something between us, so I let my emotions run wild. And I’m so sorry about that, because it made you uncomfortable, when you were probably still trying to figure out the situation.”

“Aiba-kun—”

“I understand that, you know? Believing that falling for your friend is wrong, that it’s not possible, that it’s better to have them as a friend than as nothing. But Sho-chan,” at this point, Aiba’s eyes were filled with tears but he was refusing to shed even a single one of them. “We can make it right, we can make it possible.”

Aiba seemed to gather up all his courage just to take one step towards Sho, and when he saw that he didn’t flinch away, he continued. One step at a time, a few seconds later, the man was only inches away from him.

Taking his hands into his, Aiba intertwined their fingers, before whispering gently, only for him to hear what Sho anticipated being the most important words of his life. And it was exactly that case, because, as earnest as ever, Aiba declared, “Because Sho-chan, I love you, and always will, always and forever.”

And that was the moment, the one Jun had talked about. The realization dawned on him all at once, and his heart skipped thousands of beats. Even if the faint chatter of the guests could still be heard, for Sho everything had quieted down. His ears could only catch Aiba’s unsteady breath, which was crashing against his still face.

Staring into the other’s eyes, the usual warmth Sho used to feel was different. It was deeper, embracing him completely, and making him desire to drown in it. And then, he saw it. Aiba’s sparkle, right there, back where it used to be.

And here I thought that he had moved on...

Sho had always been Aiba’s sparkle, and now he could affirm with no doubt that Aiba had been his, even if he had realized it far too late compared to the other. But as his lips curled up in a smile, he wondered if the world hadn't set up this exact path for them all along. If they weren’t meant to walk all these miles, before finally stepping on the same space.

Swiftly, as if his body had a sudden urge, Sho cupped Aiba’s face and joined their lips together. The other must have been taken by surprise because it took him some seconds before circling his arms around Sho’s body and returning the kiss.

It was as if before Aiba, before that single moment, there had never been anything and anyone else. As if the love that he had believed to know until now was just a fake copy. The emotions that were running through him as their tongues met was something he had never felt before, and something he had never even imagined he’d be able to feel.

That sensation at the pit of his stomach began burning and it was telling him that these feelings were indeed deep, and that no, they wouldn’t disappear or fade away that easily. That same sensation was telling him that Aiba was right, that they could make it possible. If he couldn’t make it with Aiba after all, then he wouldn’t be able to with anyone else. And as he broke the kiss and clutched the other close, he promised himself to do everything in his power to make this work, to make him happy, and not have him regret having chosen Sho yet again.


🍒 🍒 🍒


Sitting on the armchair across him, Jun was tapping his fingers on the armrests. His foot joined shortly after, together with a scowl on his face, showing his annoyance. After several minutes, he sighed deeply and glared at Sho.

“If you plan to stay there with those dreamy eyes without telling me anything, I’ll scream at some point.”

“But I told you, didn’t I?” he asked.

“You just came in, said ‘we kissed’ and then dropped down on that armchair, daydreaming for,” Jun checked his watch, “The past fifteen minutes.”

Sho laughed embarrassed, before composing himself. “Well, he confessed, and I had that ‘realization’ moment you talked about. Then we kissed, and then we left the party.”

“Without giving your friend the heads up that the new plan was you getting together with Aiba-san,” his friend remarked.

Last night, after Aiba and Sho decided to leave the party to finally enjoy their time together, they had returned inside just to take their jackets. They were too immersed into their own world – and were too eager to return on each other’s lips once more – that they had forgotten about informing their friends.

Sho clasped his hands together as an apology, even if he knew that Jun was just playing the part and wasn’t really mad, since the outcome of that night was surely the best one. And indeed, Jun shook his hand in mid-air, dismissing the issue.

“And after that, what happened?”

“Well,” Sho began, “Since Nino was his ride, I drove him back home.”

Jun nodded and gave out a thoughtful hum, encouraging him to go on.

“And there was a kiss, and then another kiss, and then another one—”

“Alright, you made out, and then?”

“And then I went home.”

The other was quiet for some seconds, before furrowing his eyebrows, “Wait, you didn’t have sex?”

Sho shook his head, answering negatively.

“Sho-san, that was your chance to get rid of these powers of yours. What the hell are you doing?!” his friend snapped at him.

“Oh, come on, there are going to be a lot more chances in the future anyway. We’re boyfriends after all.”

“And you think that you can go on listening constantly to Aiba-san’s thoughts? Like, when you’re kissing or holding hands?”

“W-Well,” he stuttered, avoiding the inquisitive eyes of his friend.

Indeed, last night had been quite challenging to Sho, since Aiba’s thoughts were running fast, and were escalating with each second. Sometimes, he pretended to break the kiss because he was out of breath, but the truth was that Aiba’s mind was crossing the PG line way too much.

He was sure that Aiba didn’t want to have someone spying on his inner voice, but at the same time there was nothing much he could do about it.

“I believed that with Aiba-san you would have been comfortable enough,” Jun gained his attention again. “You know, it’s the best scenario for a demisexual person to fall in love with a friend, isn’t it?”

Sho sighed sadly. “It’s not that easy. And in Aiba-kun’s case, well, we’ve been apart for years. It’s going to take some time before I can cross that line with him,” he explained, sincerely. Even if he was indeed glad to have fallen in love with the one who was once his best friend, the truth was that his situation was more complex than it looked.

“And does he know?”

“Back in January, I asked him what he would think if someone told him to wait, and I guess he must have understood that I was talking about myself. He was cool with it.”

“Well, Aiba-san loves you a lot, and will surely respect you, still,” Jun stood up and raised a fist in encouragement, “Good luck.”

“What do you mean?” he asked, not understanding what he would need that for.

“I mean, Aiba-san has been pining after you for almost 10 years. Moreover, from what you told me, he seems quite the passionate guy.”

Sho kept on staring at him in confusion, “So?”

“So, you two will end up high and dry many times.”

He snorted, and stood up as well, “I’ll stop us before that happens.”

“WIll you be able to, though?” Jun said, not too sure of Sho’s resolution.

Sho started to wear his coat to take his leave, since he knew Jun had to get prepared to go to his restaurant. “Why shouldn’t I?”

“Before you realize, Aiba-san could slam you against the wall, and you could feel bad for him if you stopped him.”

He hated Jun because he knew him too well. That was a totally possible scenario for him, since he had always feared to hurt others. He wouldn’t want his significant other to think that he was rejecting them after all.

“Don’t worry, I got this,” he said though, more to reassure himself than his friend.

After some last chit-chat, Sho exited Jun’s apartment, just before his phone rang in his pockets. Speak of the devil, he thought, taking it out and realizing who was calling.

“Hello?”

“H-Hello, Sho-chan?”

Aiba’s voice coming from the other end of the line seemed hesitant.

“What is it, Aiba-kun? What happened?” he immediately asked, worried.

“Nothing, I just… You know, when I woke up, yesterday felt like a dream, and I wanted to be sure that it finally happened for real.”

Sho bit his lips but he couldn’t hold himself back from grinning from ear to ear. Even if it hadn’t even been a day, he had already understood that he had to be prepared to receive random cheesy words from his boyfriend from now on.

“It did, Aiba-kun, it did,” he reassured him.

“I’m so happy, you know that?”

“I’m happy too,” he said, before asking, “What time are you getting off work today? Do you have any plans after that?”

“7:30 PM, and I’m totally available,” Aiba replied, his voice lively.

“Alright, then let’s go somewhere after that. We’ll go with your car; I’ll wait in front of the gallery.”

“Got it. See you tonight then.”

“Yeah, see you.”

There was a pause on Aiba’s end, before he heard the man whispering, “Love you.”

His heart skipped a beat hearing those words. He didn’t expect Aiba to say that among everything he could say. He shook his head amused, but moved somehow, as he said back, “Love you too,” before closing the call.


🍒 🍒 🍒


A copious amount of visitors was starting to exit the gallery, as its closing time was approaching. Sho let the people go past him, before leaning on the stairs’ railing to wait for his boyfriend.

He was scrolling on his SNS’s feeds, to see what people were saying about the announcement of Ohno’s new exhibition. Even if they had yet to release all the info about it, people were already excited, and this filled his heart with joy. Seeing that Ohno’s artworks were appreciated, and that he had many fans all around the world, made him feel proud of him. Sho had been watching over Ohno’s growth since university after all, witnessing how his style took shape and made him the artist he was.

“I hope to create another amazing exhibition for him,” he found himself blurting out, unconsciously.

“Aiba-kun is working harder than ever, so you can be sure of that.”

Sho looked up and saw Ninomiya coming down the stairs. He put his phone back in his pocket and turned towards him.

“Ninomiya-san, hello. Good to see you,” he started.

The man raised his eyebrows, skeptical, “Is it though?”

“Yes, it is,” he affirmed, “I’ve actually meant to talk with you sooner or later.”

Ninomiya stepped on the sidewalk, standing in front of Sho, and waited for him to speak.

“I wanted to apologize about last time. You were right, I devised that plan only with my best interests in mind, and not Aiba-kun’s. It would have been very horrible of me to introduce someone to him at the party,” Sho said earnestly, hoping that his sincerity would come across.

“Glad that you came to your senses,” Ninomiya replied, always with a witty smile on his face. However, at that moment, his expression changed to a heartfelt one. “He loves you a lot, like, a whole freaking lot, so I expect you to take great care of him.”

“I will. My feelings are genuine, so I’ll do everything in my power to make him happy.”

Ninomiya averted his gaze for a moment, probably taking in Sho’s words, before nodding and patting his sloping shoulder.

“Great, that’s what’s important.”

‘Aiba-kun was right. This guy is good with words.’

Sho couldn’t hold back a chuckle, but dismissed it as a reply to Ninomiya’s statement.

“Thank you, and sorry again. I hope we can start anew and be friends,” he raised his hand for a handshake.

The other stared it and then joined their hands together for a brief moment, “We have to, or Aiba-kun will throw a fuss at how his boyfriend and best friend are not friends.”

Right at that moment, they caught with the corner of their eyes Aiba going out of the gallery, immediately beaming as his gaze crossed Sho’s face. The man waved at him, before climbing down excitedly.

“Then, I’m off. Have fun, guys,” Ninomiya announced.

They watched as Ninomiya walked away and turned the first corner. Only then, did Sho direct his eyes at Aiba, who instead had apparently been staring at him for a while.

They were both awkward at first, so Sho cleared his throat and broke the ice first.

“So, let’s go grab a bite?”

“Sure! I know a place where they make the most delicious soba I’ve ever eaten,” proposed Aiba.

“Really? Even more than yours?” he teased. He didn’t know if the man still did, but years ago, Aiba used to make soba, which was really good. Sho was convinced that it was thanks to it that he got addicted to it.

Aiba slowly smiled, “You still remember that?”

Sho got closer and cupped the man’s face with his hands, shaking it gently, “When will you understand that I remember everything about you?”

Blushing, Aiba covered Sho’s hands with his, leaning on the touch, “Same goes for me.”

‘If we weren’t outside, I would have already kissed the hell out of him.’

Getting reminded that they were in public, Sho distanced himself from his boyfriend. “Sorry,” he blurted out with no particular reason.

“It’s fine, I don’t mind PDA, just,” Aiba leaned in to whisper in his ear, “I might not be able to control myself at some point.” The man then looked at Sho, and raised his eyebrows suggestively.

“S-So, the way to this soba place?” Sho asked, changing the topic to hide his flustered face.

Aiba laughed out loud watching Sho’s state, before leading him to his car. Now that they were together, Aiba could openly flirt with him without any restraints, without any fear of being rejected, and this meant only one thing for Sho.

Aiba-kun could really slam me against the wall before I can realize…


🍒 🍒 🍒


Sho found Ohno crouched down over his palette, holding his brush in mid-air, while his gaze went back and forth from the colors to the painting in front of him. Looking at the canvas, Sho tilted his head to the side, squinting his eyes.

“Is this okonomiyaki?”

Ohno finally chose a color and brought the brush back into motion, “Not really, but if you want it to be then yes, it is.”

“But what is it for you then?”

Standing up and taking some steps backwards, Ohno then shrugged, “I don’t know.”

Sho sighed, watching as the man’s usual weird behavior struck again. “Just be sure to have a title for tomorrow.”

“Why?”

“Because in tomorrow’s meeting Aiba-kun will finally tell us when your exhibition will start and end. Also, we’re presenting the final list with the official names of your artworks. So, you know what that means.”

“I’ll have to be there,” Ohno exhaled, defeated. Unfortunately for him, there were just some meetings he couldn’t avoid, and that was one of those. “Do I really have to? I don’t want to be a third wheel.”

Sho’s laughter filled the place, followed by Ohno’s one. Some days ago, Aiba and he had told their friend about their relationship, and the man had been very excited about it. Not only did he think that they were a good match, but he was even happier because “My best friend with my best friend! I couldn’t ask for someone better for the both of you!”

He was glad that Ohno had taken the news so well, since he was afraid that he could feel left out. Apparently, it was the opposite. He felt them – and their trio – closer this way.

“It’s a meeting, Ohno-kun, we wouldn’t be whispering sweet nothings,” he said after their laughter subsided.

“You can do that after the meeting then.”

Sho shook his head amused, not replying to Ohno’s teasing because he caught something with the corner of his eye which had him perplexed.

“Ohno-kun, what is this?”

His friend turned towards him and moved his gaze to the direction Sho’s finger was pointing at. There, a white canvas was sitting lonely, waiting to be painted.

“Ah, right,” Ohno placed down the brush and straightened himself up, before clasping his hands together as if praying. “Please, let me add a final piece to the exhibition.”

“W-What? But you didn’t even start it, are you going to make it?” he said, alarmed. Ohno could take even a whole month to finish a piece, so how was he going to have it finished by the start of the exhibition?

“I promise I’ll finish it in time! I already know how it’s going to be and what its title is. It won’t take a lot. I’ll be fast. I promise, Sho-kun.” Ohno explained, assuring him in every possible way that he, yes he, would make it.

Sho crossed his arms and watched the artist with bafflement. That was the first time Ohno had pushed so much to insert a work in his exhibition; moreover, he had done it at the last minute, when he had always tried to avoid that, since he knew that it would bring pressure to Sho.

“Do you want it at the exhibition that badly?” he questioned him, still not wrapping his head around that sudden request.

“Yes, it must be there. There wouldn’t be any meaning to it otherwise.”

Sho bit his lips thoughtfully. He knew that Aiba would surely let them add a piece, even if it meant that he had to find a spot for it, and so relocate all the artworks in his sketch. And Ohno knew that as well. He had never asked for such things exactly because he had never liked to bother others, so, to do it this time, it meant that this painting was something dear to him. Sho didn’t know what it was, but as Ohno’s manager – and close friend – he could only nod and accept his request.

“What’s its title? I’m going to add it to the document,” he said then, smiling at how Ohno had hugged him as soon as he moved his head in agreement.

“It’s called ‘Love Situation.’”


🍒 🍒 🍒

As he had expected, Aiba had accepted their request to add another piece to the exhibition without any problems. Surely, even he had seen the strong desire that moved Ohno, and he figured out that he couldn’t go against it.

The exhibition would take place in April, from the 1st to the 30th. The preparation would begin two weeks from that day, and should end a few days before its start. Busy and tiring days were awaiting them, so Sho hoped that they could make the most out of the time they had before the beginning of the exhibition. He wouldn’t want to waste part of their honeymoon phase after all.

Gathering their things, Sho sighed, “We have a packed schedule ahead.”

“I’m sure that we can find some spare time though,” Aiba affirmed optimistically.

Ohno raised his hands in front of their faces, “Before you start making out, let me go out at least.”

“Cut it out,” Sho scolded him playfully, pushing him towards the door, “Let’s go.”

“Wait,” the art curator stopped them, “I actually have something to talk about with Sho-chan. I think that Oh-chan would find it boring though, so maybe he can go take a look around. You’ve been here only once after all.”

“Oh,” the artist uttered, staring at Aiba for some seconds. “Alright. Sho-chan, I’ll wait for you outside then.”

Sho nodded and watched the other leave. At that moment, before he could even turn towards his boyfriend, his wrist was pulled in and his body was pressed against Aiba’s.

“I lied,” the man whispered on his lips.

“What—”

His voice died in his throat as Aiba started kissing him deeply, abruptly thrusting his tongue in, while his hand went to hold his hip. When Sho, after recovering from the surprise, took his face in his hands to meet his kisses, Aiba began to lead him backwards.

He understood only when Aiba slipped his hands under his thighs, that he was going to be slammed somewhere. And, indeed, his boyfriend lifted him up to put him on his desk. As he kept on devouring him with his lips, Aiba placed his hands on the desk, behind Sho, who was going to be gradually pushed down.

Now, there was no way Aiba would want to do some sexual activity at his workplace, with the risk of someone walking in on them. Let alone having their first time on a freaking desk just after a meeting. So, he shouldn’t worry about that, right?

‘Oh-chan’s waiting, I know, but please, just let me go down on you, Sho-chan.’

Sho’s lips were sucked one last time, before the next recipient of Aiba’s attention was his neck. Sho opened his eyes, panicked. He was so not ready to have that kind of intimacy that early in the relationship, and in such a place moreover.

“Aiba-kun,” he said softly, putting his hands on the man’s shoulders. To his bad luck, Aiba must have mistaken that for a moan, rather than Sho actually calling him. He felt a hand unbuttoning his jacket and tracing his chest and abdominals over his shirt.

When his back touched the desk, Sho pushed Aiba away gently, and looked him in the eyes. “This is not the time, nor the place, for whatever you’re thinking of doing.”

Aiba’s dark eyes full of lust blinked a few times, before he got up, helping him in the process. “Sorry, I let myself get carried away.” His words were honest, since embarrassment and regret were shown on his face.

“You stopped. That’s all that matters,” Sho reassured him, fixing his clothes and hair.

“I…” Aiba trailed off, moving his eyes to his neck, “Might have given you a hickey, though.”

Sho brought his hand to his neck, hot and slightly wet because of Aiba’s lips.

“No worries,” Sho immediately said, noticing Aiba’s scarf resting on top of the desk. He picked it up and wrapped it around his neck. “I’ll borrow this.”

“So, your ability at problem solving in your CV was true.”

“Of course,” he went along.

When Sho was about to exit the room, he turned to peck Aiba’s lips briefly.

“And, by the way, I’ll be waiting for you to take this back,” he informed him, pointing at the scarf.

His boyfriend didn’t answer verbally, he just returned the peck , but on Sho’s cheek. And if that wasn’t enough to warm his heart, Aiba even said ‘I love you’ when he opened the door.

Biting his lips, he forced himself to keep a straight face, “You don’t have to tell me that every time, you know?”

“I didn’t get to say it for years, so now I’m going to take any chance I can to tell you.”

Sho’s lips couldn’t help but curve up in the widest smile ever, before mouthing a silent ‘I love you too’ back.


🍒 🍒 🍒


“Told you that it was going to happen,” Jun chanted, as they ran side by side in the park. “What’s all the surprise?”

“Jun-kun, he wanted to go down on me in his freaking office,” he replied, still astonished at how bold his boyfriend could be. “I thought that he would at least do that at his place or mine.”

“And instead, he even gave you a hickey,” Jun commented, sneaking a glance at Sho’s neck.

He narrowed his eyes at his friend as he covered his skin with his palm. That gained a chuckle out of Jun, who then continued, “Well, what’s important is that he now knows that you want to wait even with him.”

“What do you mean?”

“You told him that you’re not ready to have sex, right?”

Sho recalled what he told Aiba, ‘This is not the time, nor the place, for whatever you’re thinking of doing,’ and his throat went dry. He wasn’t direct with the other, so Aiba must have understood that Sho didn’t want to do anything at his workplace after a meeting, and not at all.

Hesitant, Sho avoided Jun’s gaze until he was poked in his hip and he was forced to answer. “I may not have been that direct with him.”

What he expected came immediately, and that was Jun’s disappointed “Sho-san…”

“I know, I know,” he grumbled frustrated.

“You should tell him.”

“I will,” he said, before adding, “Eventually.”

“Sho-san, I’ll be honest.”

Jun stopped and so did he. His friend looked serious and that gave Sho a tiny bit of goosebumps, since he was afraid that Jun was about to give him some tough love, telling him that he was doing everything wrong.

What followed though, wasn’t what he expected and that took him by his surprise. Because Jun didn’t scold him, instead, he gave him an order, “The next time you go out, tell him, and this is an order, Sakurai. The guy needs to know that he has to keep it in his pants.”

“I wish I could be as direct as you,” Sho joked.

“You’re a very straightforward person, Sho-san, however, I’m noticing that you’re rather reluctant to confess this part of you to Aiba-san, even though he is your boyfriend.”

Once again, Jun saw through him and he couldn’t do anything to hide anymore. He had been buying time, yes, he had been trying to avoid or at least postponing what had to come.

“I’m afraid.”

“Of what?”

“That he is going to leave.”

“Didn’t you say that he was cool with it?”

“If someone asked him to wait, but being demisexual is different. It can take way longer than that, and I wouldn’t want him to think that it’s never going to happen.”

Jun crossed his arms and arched his eyebrows, “To be frank, he has shown many times how much he loves you. Also, remember that he's been in love with  you for ages.”

“So?”

“So, I’m sure that his aim is not to have you under him, but to just have you by his side.”

“Love is not enough sometimes,” he sighed, looking away. Unfortunately, he had gone through too many heartbreaks to believe otherwise.

“Well, it’s enough to have him come to the park on a Saturday morning.”

Returning his eyes to Jun, he saw that the man had his gaze directed to his left. Following it, he found the reason for the man’s words. Meters and meters away, coming out from an unpaved path of the park, there was Aiba, jogging in his black and green sweatsuit.

“What is he doing here?” he asked himself out loud.

Aiba spotted them soon, his face lighting up, and waved his hand in the air vigorously. They met him halfway, surprised at Aiba’s presence and, as for Sho, even at the awkwardness of the situation.

“How come are you here?” he asked him.

“I told you that I come here often, didn’t I? Also, I wanted to go for a jog today, for a change.”

“Really? And are you enjoying it?” it was Jun the one to ask that question.

“A lot, it’s very nice to run out in the open.”

“Great to hear that,” Sho replied, before signaling him to come with him and then turning towards his friend, “Jun-kun, can you excuse us for one moment?”

He dragged Aiba with him and then whispered, even if they were far enough to not be heard, “Tell me the real reason why you’re here.”

The other looked confused, tilting his head to the side, “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Sho-chan. It’s just as I told you.”

It took him only one glare to have Aiba drop the act and confess, “Alright, I wanted to see you.”

“And couldn’t you just tell me instead of staging this fortuitous event?”

“It is fortuitous actually,” Aiba remarked, “The park is big, we could have missed each other.”

Sho rolled his eyes, annoyed that Aiba didn’t get his point, “Anyway, I’d prefer you to tell me beforehand. It seems as if you were—I don’t know, spying on me or something.”

His boyfriend’s eyes widened and he shook his head in denial, “I wasn’t, I promise! I could never do that!”

“Then, what’s the reason?”


Aiba looked down, biting his lips embarrassed. Nothing came out of his mouth at first, and it took him a full minute to talk, “I didn’t want to seem clingy.”

“What?” Sho asked, lost.

“We have a date tonight, but I couldn’t wait so I came up with this plan. I didn’t want to come off as a clingy boyfriend.”

At those words, Sho couldn’t help but be moved by Aiba’s commitment in respecting his boundaries. “That is very sweet of you, Aiba-kun, but you don’t have to worry about that. I feel the same way too.”

“No, it’s different.”

Aiba pronounced that so gravely that it took him aback, so he waited for him to explain himself.

“Sho-chan, I’ve been loving you all along, and you’re finally mine. When I say that I don’t yet believe that we’re together, I mean it. It’s just too beautiful to be true, and everyday I have to check our chat to be sure that everything is real.”

“Aiba-kun,” he mumbled, not really knowing what to say.

His boyfriend took some steps closer, staring down at him deeply, “I miss you with every breath, I want you constantly within my grasp. And although this may sound romantic, it’s actually not. I don’t want to become greedy and then end up asking for more. I don’t want to ruin what we finally have – like I was doing in my office.”

After all that, Sho felt his hands moving by themselves and he cupped Aiba’s face. He gave him a heartfelt smile, because what he said made him understand yet once again that he loved him truly. “Now, this is very sweet indeed.”

Aiba chuckled sheepishly, and was going to lean in when a cough interrupted them. They parted and looked at their side with flustered expressions.

“I’ll leave you two alone,” Jun announced.

“Matsumoto-san, please stay with us. I wouldn’t want to come in between your workout,” Aiba immediately said, “I’m the outsider here, after all.”

“Aiba-san, it’s fine really—”

“I insist,” Aiba came over to Jun, “You’re also Sho-chan’s best friend, I would like to know the person who stole my spot.”

Jun looked briefly at Sho, a delighted smile on his face, and then back at Aiba, nudging him playfully on his shoulder. “I didn’t steal your spot, you just leveled up.”

Aiba nodded, a feeble ‘Ah, that’s true,’ escaping his lips.

“Let’s go,” Sho said then, moving towards them. “We’re going for another bunch of laps, are you up for it, Aiba-kun?”

“Sure.”

Sho was the first one to start running, followed by Jun and, weirdly enough, Aiba with a delay of some seconds. He turned to his left to check if his boyfriend was alright, and he found him with his lips slightly curved up, as if he were smirking.

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing’s funny,” Aiba said.

Sho would have lied if he said that he wouldn’t have liked to question Aiba more, but he decided to just dismiss it and let his boyfriend have this secret.



Climbing up the stairs to his apartment, Sho was laughing at a joke Aiba had just made. Their date had been great, and after a round of rock-paper-scissors to decide who would be the one to take the other home – they both insisted on doing it – Aiba had won.

“Next time, I’ll walk you home, though,” Sho declared as soon as they were at his front door.

“Then, I’ll be sure to take the long way home,” Aiba replied, trying to wink but failing miserably.

He couldn’t help but find that action cute, so he pinched the other’s cheek and left a peck on it, “Fine by me.”

Aiba returned the peck, but instead of backing off, he lingered on Sho’s skin, and in a matter of seconds, his lips were on Sho’s. He was sucking on his lips and was going deeper with his tongue with every kiss, while pushing Sho against the door and keeping him in place with his hands on his chest. Aiba’s hands then moved lower, sliding on Sho’s butt.

As Aiba’s hands dug into Sho’s skin, he heard Aiba’s inner voice.‘I knew I was right about what I saw this morning. His ass is as plump as I expected. I can’t wait to pound into it mercilessly and have him shout my name at the top of his lungs and—’

Abruptly, Sho pushed Aiba back, breaking their heated kiss in panic. He did it unconsciously, not wishing to know how his boyfriend was going to end that sentence. He had heard enough.

“What happened? You okay, Sho-chan?” his boyfriend asked, alarmed.

“Y-Yes, it’s just that—Huh—I remembered I still have work left to do, so I have to go now,” he lied, his tone clearly nervous.

“Ah, I see,” Aiba said, but he didn’t seem to want to give up because then he added, “I can come in to keep you company if you want.”

“No!” he shouted, betraying himself in the process. He tried to compose himself immediately, chuckling and smiling as naturally as he could, “I mean, I’m going to pull an all-nighter, so…”

Aiba looked dejected for a while but eventually nodded and caressed Sho’s hair, “Alright, I’ll leave you alone then. Goodnight.” A kiss was placed on his forehead.

‘Damn it, I must have done something to upset him. You’re an idiot, Masaki.’

As Aiba walked away, Sho felt his heart sink. He couldn’t have his boyfriend leave in such a state, thinking that he had done something upsetting when the only upsetting thing was his annoying demisexuality. He couldn’t have Aiba think that he was in the wrong to desire intimacy with him every time he tried to get closer.

“Aiba-kun!” he called.

The man turned, “Yeah?”

“You didn’t do anything wrong. I’m not upset, it’s just that…”

He felt his words die in his throat as the other stared at him, expectantly. However, no matter how he tried, Sho couldn’t really manage to spit it out and get it done with. Even if everything would be simpler, even if Aiba would have stopped blaming himself.

As he struggled to talk, he saw Aiba smiling reassuringly at him, “You don’t have to do that, Sho-chan.”

“That?”

“Making up excuses. I crossed the line too early. Don’t worry, I understand.”

No, you don’t, he thought. Although his guess was half-correct, there was much more to it.

“Aiba-kun, listen.” He took a deep breath, but gave up on confessing the truth to the other. He wasn’t ready to do that, and he needed to get something out of his mouth before Aiba would think that he was really just making up excuses. “Let’s say that—Uhm—I’m just waiting for the right moment.”

“The right moment?” the man asked, curious.

“Yes, I mean, it’s us, you know. I want it to be special.” And that was true, he did want that. So, he wasn’t properly lying, he was just omitting the other 50% of the truth. That made him feel a tiny bit better at least.

Biting his lower lip but still failing to contain his grin, Aiba looked away for one moment. He then returned to Sho with a slightly red blush on his cheeks, “I want it to be special too, and I’m willing to wait for it.”

That made him want to jump with joy. Knowing that Aiba was ready to wait made his anxiety disappear. If his boyfriend had told him otherwise, then he honestly didn’t know what could have happened. Or, rather, he knew, because it had happened so many times already.

“I can’t wait that long, sorry.”

“I understand. So, should we break up?”

“I guess so.”

That was the usual pattern of Sho’s relationships, but this time was different. For once, he had hope that his relationship could actually last. It was the first time for him to feel this way and his heart was filled with gratefulness towards Aiba.

“Thank you, Aiba-kun.”

“You know I love you.”

Sho had already opened his front door when he said the last words of that night, “Goodnight, love you too.”


🍒 🍒 🍒


Aiba had truly been a man of his word for the past two weeks. Surely, being extremely busy because of the upcoming exhibition had helped, but Aiba was really ‘waiting’ and not attacking Sho whenever they were alone. His kisses weren’t lustful but sweet, his touches not demanding but tender. His boyfriend was really holding himself back.

However, just like everything, there was a downside to this behavior. The more he avoided intimacy with Sho, the dirtier his thoughts became. Sho had some of these still plastered in his mind. One where Aiba was imagining to slam Sho onto his backseat, one where he was licking sauce off Sho’s fingers during their dinner date, one where he wanted to ‘bite’ Sho’s butt – causing Sho to walk with his back on the wall, gaining a lot of weird stares from Aiba and Nino, who was at the gallery with them. But the raciest one Aiba had happened while they were drinking a coffee at the gallery’s coffee bar.

Sho knew that his boyfriend had quite a liking for him in suits, but that time he overdid himself.

‘Aiba throws himself at Sho, climbing onto him and straddling him on his chair. He starts to kiss Sho deeply, as his hands go to grasp his jacket to take it off. Aiba then moves to his collarbone, sucking and nibbling everywhere, before he goes to bite Sho’s adam apple.

Sho throws his head back and moans loudly, which gives Aiba the opportunity to untie Sho’s tie. The piece of fabric is then put behind Sho’s neck, so that he can pull Sho in for another heated kiss. With one hand, Aiba starts to unbutton Sho’s shirt, while with the other he clasps his right wrist, which was on his own thigh.

When he has finished with Sho’s shirt, he takes Sho’s left wrist with his now free hand, Sho’s tie hanging loosely from his neck.

“You know, Sho-chan, I love ties on you, but I believe that there’s a way that would suit you better.”

“And what is it?”

Aiba smirks, before putting Sho’s wrists behind his back and keeping them in place with a hand. With the other, he takes the tie and begins to wrap it around them. When he successfully makes a knot, he releases Sho’s wrists. For the whole time he has stared at Sho, intensely, and now he inches closer, whispering on his mouth.

“Tied up,” he says, replying to Sho’s previous question. “Sho-chan, let’s have fun.”’

After those words, Sho had immediately leaned back on his chair, distancing his elbow from Aiba’s. He still couldn’t believe how his boyfriend could have such thoughts while keeping a straight face as if he wasn’t imagining a complete porn movie with them as main characters.

Sho hadn’t even had normal sex yet, let alone bondage or anything of the sort. And instead, here was Aiba, thinking about tying Sho up while drinking coffee. It was true that he wasn’t supposed to see or hear these thoughts after all, though, which brought to his attention what should have been his main problem: reading minds.

The reason why Aiba could let his imagination run wild was because he felt safe, because no one is supposed to get into your head. If he knew that Sho had instead been there all along, he would surely feel spied on, violated somehow, and that could cause him to lose him forever.

If before he was obsessed with the fear of losing Aiba because of sex, he had now realized that that was surely the tiniest problem of them all. But how could he confess that he had such a power, when he couldn’t even come out to him? What’s more, would Aiba even believe him, or would he run away thinking that Sho was a crazy dude?

On that Sunday, just before the start of the exhibition, Sho had to write a welcome speech for Ohno. He was on his laptop, his ‘Speech’ doc shared with Ohno opened, but the page was blank. He had faith in his skills when it came to words, but right now he couldn’t think of anything decent. Nothing was coming to his mind, because he couldn’t stop thinking about how he was violating Aiba’s privacy with his powers. He knew that he couldn’t do much about it, he knew that it wasn’t really his fault, but still, he couldn’t forgive himself for not respecting his boundaries as Aiba was doing instead.

Sho ruffled his hair nervously, exhaling deeply, and sat upright in his chair. He wrote a sentence, then another, and then another one. He read them again and shook his head, hitting the delete button. He repeated this action over and over again for an hour, before he eventually closed his laptop, frustrated, and threw himself on his couch.

“Will I even get some breathing space someday?”

Just as he pronounced those words, his doorbell rang, and rather incessantly. He rose up quickly and went to open the door, more because he wanted to make that sound stop than because he wanted to know who was behind it.

When he opened it, though, he found a breathless Aiba in front of him, in panic.

“Aiba-kun, what happened?” he immediately asked.

“Sho-chan, Atem—We can’t find—Atem—We don’t know—” Aiba stuttered helplessly, grasping Sho’s arms as his hands trembled around them.

“Aiba-kun, calm down, I’m here,” he said gently, taking Aiba’s face in his hands in an attempt to soothe him, “Tell me what happened. What about Atem?”

“We can’t find him,” the man managed to say at last. “My brother says that he could have got out of the back door, or the window on the ground floor—I don’t know but it doesn’t matter, he says that he can’t find it anywhere around his house so—I mean I don’t know where he can be but we have to look for him.”

“Since when has he gone missing?”

“Two hours or so.”

“Why didn’t you call me sooner?” he asked as he quickly took his phone, wallet, and put on his jacket and shoes.

“I did, but you didn’t pick up.”

At that moment, Sho noticed the 10 missed calls from his boyfriend. He remembered only at that moment that he had set his phone on silent mode because he didn’t want to be interrupted while working, and he felt guilty immediately. “I’m sorry, I didn’t—”

“Forget it, let’s go now,” Aiba cut him off, taking his arm and dragging him out of his apartment.



As Aiba called Nino to help in Atem’s search, Sho called Ohno – Jun was busy at his restaurant, but he still sent him a text to ask him to tell him if he noticed a dog in their neighborhood. Sho knew that Aiba and he should split so they could cover more areas, but he was not going to leave him alone in such a state. Scared, confused, upset.

Just now, Aiba’s alarmed eyes were looking frantically around him, while his legs struggled to keep up with them, going back and forth and not resting one single moment. Sho was instead alternating between checking the streets and checking on his boyfriend. He had never seen Aiba this agitated, and he was worried about him.

“Aiba-kun, maybe we should sit somewhere and take a break—”

“What?!” Aiba turned towards in a blink, in disbelief, “You want me to take a break while Atem is who knows where doing who knows what?!”

“No, of course not, but if you’re in this state you can’t do much anyway. You might still miss him even if your eyes catch him, or you might not be able to think where he could without a clear mind—”

His collar was grabbed forcefully, “If you want to sit down twiddling your thumbs go ahead, but I sure won’t stand by in such a situation.” For the first time since forever, Aiba had talked to him in a cold and severe tone, which would have made anyone freeze on the spot. Anyone but Sho, because he knew that his boyfriend didn’t mean to be that aggressive, but was just not thinking straight.

And, indeed, as soon as he came back to his senses, Aiba freed Sho, while his face was covered by guilt. “God, Sho-chan, I’m so sorry, I didn’t want to.”

“I know,” he said to him gently.

His boyfriend sighed and eventually eyed a nearby bench in the park they were at the moment. He crashed onto it, his head hanging low. Sho wanted to comfort him somehow, but how could he when Atem went missing? It wasn’t something that they could just laugh off and then move on.

If there was something I could do… He thought defeated.

And right then, he remembered that there was actually something he could do, or at least just for having an understanding of what was going on in Aiba’s mind.

He approached the bench, slid on the seat next to Aiba’s, and placed his hand on his back, caressing it.

‘I’m so sorry, Grandma…’

Grandma? “Was Atem your Grandmother’s dog?” he blurted out without realizing.

Aiba’s head snapped in his direction, “You really remember everything.”

Sho was lost at that, because for the first time he didn’t even have an idea of what he had to remember in the first place. Luckily, though, Aiba continued and that helped him get an idea.

“When my grandmother took Atem in after having rescued him from the streets, and I received that phone call and you were beside me, our friendship had barely begun. I wasn’t surprised when you didn’t ask me anything about him when we met at the park the other day. But turns out I was wrong,” Aiba’s hand went to hold his hand tightly, “You really paid attention to me even back then, didn’t you?”

Sho didn’t remember anything about that moment. He didn’t even remember that Aiba’s grandmother had a dog. It was only thanks to his powers and to his carelessness that he asked that question. It wasn’t any of his merit, so he shouldn't have been leading Aiba on and have him believe something which wasn’t true.

However, he couldn’t find it in him to deny that, since Aiba’s eyes were staring at him with one of the softest gaze he ever received. He swallowed down the knot that formed in his throat because of the lie he was going to say, “Well, yeah, of course I did.”

Aiba’s lips broke into a grin, before they landed on his cheek. The man then looked at him one last time before resting his head on his shoulder, their hands still intertwined.

“When Grandma passed away, it was a hard blow for everyone and especially Atem, who was so attached to her he was her shadow, basically. My brother took him in because before she died, we promised her that we would take care of him. So, now that he’s missing…”

‘It’s as if we failed.’

“You didn’t fail, Aiba-kun, and I’m sure that your grandmother thinks the same too up there. It was an accident, I’m sure that you’re going to find him.”

Once again, he had used his powers, but this time he couldn’t care less. If that helped make Aiba feel better, then he was ready to feel in the wrong forever. He only cared about him after all.

Raising his head and looking at Sho, the man couldn’t help but throw himself at him, hugging him, “Thank you, Sho-chan.”

‘I would be lost without him, he’s really the best.’

I’m not, was what Sho thought with sorrow, but he put that feeling aside and focused on returning the other’s hugs, patting his back, and caressing his hair.

Just some minutes later, a call from Aiba’s brother came, happily announcing that they had found Atem. Aiba could finally take a sigh of relief, and he let himself go on the bench, all the anxiety he had built up finally releasing his body. And Sho too could finally rest at ease, because Atem was with his family, and because Aiba’s eyes were sparkling again.

“Sorry for getting this… personal before,” Aiba mumbled after a while.

“Aiba-kun, don’t even be sorry about that,” Sho started, turning his body towards him, “It’s obvious to get personal in a relationship, we’re here to share each other’s…” Sho stopped for a moment, because it took him all his being to just utter, “Burdens.”

Having unveiled an important piece of himself and his past, Aiba had just been a reminder to Sho that he was keeping secrets from his boyfriend, secrets that concerned him as well. And yet once again, he swallowed that down and ignored the weight which was forming on his heart.


🍒 🍒 🍒


Sho was staring outside of his window, holding a glass of beer. The day after, Ohno’s exhibition would finally begin, and just as any other time, he wasn’t able to sleep well. His worrywart self would never leave his mind at peace, since every second a new question would pop up to make him question all their work.

It was in this kind of situation that he wished to be like Ohno, who was surely sleeping soundly on his couch without any worry.

“I envy him,” he found himself saying to this apartment.

When he was about to turn on the TV – since he had given up on getting any kind of rest – his phone rang. He smiled when he saw the ID before picking up.

“Hello.”

“Hello Sho-chan, still awake?” Aiba’s lively voice reached his ears painfully since he wasn’t expecting such energy at such an hour.

“What do you think?”

“Can’t sleep because of the exhibition,” the man chuckled, “I can’t either, you know.”

“We’re a match,” he joked.

“Were you going to do something right now?” Aiba changed the topic abruptly, which weirded him out a bit. Why that sudden question?

“I was just going to watch some TV, why?”

Even through his phone, he could feel how Aiba was smirking at the moment, “How about we go for a night stroll?”

Sho looked at the window, watching the pitch-black scenery outside, “Right now?”

“Yeah. You don’t even need to change, just come down as you are.”

He liked strolls, but only morning ones, so going at night wasn’t really his cup of tea. However, he found himself accepting, since it meant spending some time with his boyfriend. “Alright, then tell me when you’re here.”

“I’m here, Sho-chan.”

Sho rushed to his balcony and, looking down, he indeed saw Aiba on his phone. He was in his sweatsuit, and he had his head raised in his direction. He waved and signaled Sho to come down, which he did in a matter of a few minutes.

When he was in front of him, he looked at him amazed, “What if I had said no?”

“I would have just gone home,” Aiba replied, “But I knew that you would say yes.”

Sho returned Aiba’s challenging gaze, crossing his arms and arching his eyebrows, “And why so?”

Aiba was quick to wrap his arms around his neck and pull him in a kiss, “Because you will never turn me down.”

“Someday I could,” he said, even if both knew that that couldn’t be possible. “Anyway, so, we just walk around?”

“Actually, I want to bring you somewhere,” Aiba said. Then, he pointed behind himself, and only at that moment Sho noticed a motorbike parked there, and the fact that his boyfriend was wearing a leather jacket.

“I’m not riding that,” Sho declared, but was ignored since Aiba rolled his eyes and just handed him a helmet.

“Just get on.”

Without much choice, Sho followed Aiba’s instructions and climbed on the motorbike, wrapping his arms around him. They covered quite a few kilometers, going through Tokyo’s streetlights that shone over them, until Aiba stopped on a bridge overlooking the Tokyo Bay.

When they got down, Aiba led them towards the railing, where they admired the water reflecting the moonlight.

“So, what do you think?” Aiba asked.

“It’s beautiful, Aiba-kun.”

“As expected, I knew you would like it.”

Sho stared at the view before his eyes for quite a while, lost in that beautiful scenery. When he turned towards his boyfriend, he was met with Aiba’s dreamy expression. Immediately, the image of their past pictures came to mind, and he couldn’t help but comment on that habit of Aiba.

“Every time you stare at me instead of what you have ahead. Am I really that wonderful?” he teased.

The other though replied earnestly, “You’re breathtaking, Sho-chan.”

Sho cleared his voice, feeling embarrassed all of a sudden. He looked away, letting a comfortable silence settle between them.

After a while, Aiba scooted closer to him and leaned his head on his shoulder.

‘After all this time, after everything... It was all worth it for this moment right here with Sho-chan.’

Sho’s heart skipped a bit, hearing that. Aiba’s mind was filled with his love for him, and he felt almost overwhelmed with it. Maybe this was the right time, he thought. Aiba loved him so much, he thought he was worth it... Maybe if he did tell him what was holding him back, he would understand. Maybe things would be different with him, maybe he wouldn’t run away...

“Aiba-kun…” Sho started.

His boyfriend lifted his head and looked at him curiously. “Hm?”

Sho stared into Aiba’s eyes deeply, almost getting lost in them. “I just…”

“Yes, Sho-chan?” Aiba encouraged him.

“I just wanted to…” Sho looked away, feeling his courage fail him at the last second. “I-I just wanted to ask you what happened after you left.”

“Oh,” Aiba said, sounding surprised. “Of course. What do you want to know?”

Sho looked at his hands on the railings, still feeling ashamed with himself. “Everything, I guess.”

Aiba bumped into his shoulder playfully. “Alright then.”

Sho settled onto the railings as he looked at his boyfriend expectantly.

“It was very difficult at first, you know, I was in another city, in a different country even, and I didn’t know anyone. Up until that point, you and Oh-chan had been my anchors, so I felt lost. Moreover, I was trying to forget about you in the process.” Aiba looked sad while he remembered those times, and Sho was regretting having asked him about it, but he still wanted to know what Aiba had to go through.

“How was the job?” he said then, hoping that that at least was an upside.

“Really good. The museum was beautiful, my colleagues were very kind; overall, I had a great time there. The only reason why I came back was because I was offered a position in Nagoya, and I just love Japan – you know that already.”

“And you’ve been working there steadily until you came back to Tokyo?”

“Not really,” Aiba narrowed his eyes, thoughtfully, “I think I have stayed in five different cities before coming back here.”

Sho widened his eyes, “Really?”

“I guess art curators travel a lot?” the man laughed. “But, yeah, let’s say that I’ve been around.”

And there, Sho had only question left in store, and even if he was afraid to hear the answer, he knew that he had to ask. After all, everything that happened before him was in the past, and didn’t have any right to get jealous.

“Since you were always moving, was it hard to have a relationship?” he started, testing the waters.

Aiba’s lips curved up to their sides, just a bit and for a brief second, signaling that the man had understood where Sho was going with that question. And, indeed, he said, “You know, if you wanted to ask me about my past relationships, you could have been direct. I don’t mind sharing that with you.”

Sho coughed, embarrassed, “If that’s so…” He didn’t finish his sentence but instead moved his hands to encourage Aiba to talk.

“Well, it was hard to move on from you, so I had to go through casual relationships and one-night stands at first. Afterwards, I had some relationships but nothing too serious. The only established relationship I had was the last one before coming back to Tokyo.”

“Tell me about it.”

Aiba glanced at Sho unsure, but he was determined to know Aiba’s past so he nodded, silently reassuring him that it was fine. Then, Aiba sighed and went back to look ahead, his head resting on his folded arms on the tall railing.

“She was my colleague in Nagoya. We didn’t click immediately at first, but one day something sparked between us and we started dating shortly after. Since the beginning we agreed to be in a committed relationship, so sometimes the word marriage was brought up. I was a bit hesitant at the time, and I didn’t know why until later.”

Sho closed his eyes, already imagining what the reason for Aiba’s irresolution was. “Don’t tell me…”

A laugh escaped Aiba’s mouth, “After three years, she was offered a really great job in New York. My contract was ending at the end of that year as well, so she proposed to go together to NY, rent an apartment and maybe also get married once settled there. For months I couldn’t find myself accepting that and when I asked myself, ‘Why aren’t you going?’ my heart replied, ‘She’s not Sho-chan’.”

As expected, his guess was right. He had been the cause for the end of Aiba’s relationship. Even after all those years, the man’s heart was still grabbing onto him and his memory, preventing him from having a happy ending with anyone else.

“So, you broke up because of me?”

“I couldn’t let you go, so the fault was mine, and not yours. No matter who I had by my side,” Aiba finally faced Sho, “They weren’t you.”

Just how much did Aiba love him, that was the question he was asking himself every day. He didn’t know how, but when he thought that Aiba couldn’t love him any more than that, he was outdoing himself. The only thing Sho could do at that moment was to throw himself at him and kiss him, because there weren’t any words that could have summed up how he was feeling.

They kissed under the moon just like the night they got together, the only difference being that they broke the kiss way sooner than that time, since they were out in the open and anyone could have passed by.

“You’re lucky that I fell in love with you. Now you actually have me by your side,” Sho said. He wanted it to be a tease, but somehow, it came out rather cheesy and not at all funny.

In spite of that, Aiba laughed, and poked his forehead, “I finally have the original.” The taller man then put his hands in his pockets, suddenly looking shy, “And how about you? How many serious relationships?”

Now, that was a sore point. But he couldn’t back out again, it was the right time for Sho to spill everything and finally tell Aiba. His boyfriend had just given him the perfect chance to talk and he couldn’t afford to lose it.

Although he was determined this time, he was still uncomfortable and the words refused to come out. Maybe it’s because we’re out, he thought, looking around nervously. Perhaps, being in his apartment would have helped him feel safer and confess?

He decided to try it out, since he had nothing to lose. “Why don’t we talk about it at mine?”

Aiba seemed surprised to hear that, but nonetheless agreed. “Sure.”



When they entered Sho’s place, his hands were sweating heavily and he was frantically trying to dry them up on his hoodie. As he led the man into his living room and on his couch, he took a deep breath to channel the courage into him.

“Okay, so,” he started. “It’s complicated, actually.”

“Sho-chan, you don’t have to talk if you don’t want to,” Aiba said, probably upon seeing how Sho looked agitated.

“No, I want to talk, it’s just that it’s difficult.”

Aiba took his hand into his, squeezing it, “Just start from the easy bit then.”

Nodding, he gulped, and tried to do that. “The answer to your question is none.”

“None?” Aiba asked, astonished.

“Yeah, none. Or, well, nothing that could be defined as such. I couldn’t give them what they wanted and eventually they broke up with me, and rightly so.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Because my ‘waiting’ time is long, Aiba-kun, and it sucks.”

“They just didn’t love you enough, then.”

Sho shook his head, chuckling at the man’s attempt to cheer him up. “Aiba-kun, you can’t blame them for—”

“And you can’t blame yourself either!”

He was taken aback by the sudden outburst of Aiba, who would rarely show this side of him to others. For having had such a reaction, then this must have been a topic dear to him, therefore, Sho stayed silent, waiting for him to express what he had buried inside.

“You see, every time I listen to you there is one thing that you keep on doing, and that’s putting the blame all on you. I understand that they weren’t at fault when they wanted to stop seeing you, but neither were you because they went away.”

“If it wasn’t for me they would have stayed though.”

“And what if they didn’t?”

“What?”

Aiba turned his whole body towards him, slipping one of his legs under the other, and left Sho’s hand just to grab them both together. “We can’t know what would have happened if you had your ‘right moment’ with them, so stop thinking about those scenarios. Those people are in the past, it is what it is, and you shouldn’t feel ashamed of yourself.”

Not only those words were trying to lift his spirits, but they were comforting, too comforting, directed to him, as if Aiba knew exactly what was going on. Did… Did Aiba get it? After so many headaches on how he would react, could it be that Aiba had known all along instead?

“Aiba-kun, do you perhaps…” he didn’t finish the sentence, because he knew that the other would have understood what he was implying.

“You’re somewhere on the asexual spectrum, aren’t you, Sho-chan?”

He widened his eyes, frozen. His secret had never been a secret, and even if this should have made him happy, he was still unable to move, feeling too fragile all of a sudden. He felt vulnerable now that everything was out in the open, and at the back of his mind he could hear his worries begin to chant ‘he’s going to leave you too.’

Finally, with his own lips, Sho whispered the declaration he had been craving to let out, which was hovering over him painfully. “I’m demisexual, yeah.”

He dared to look at his boyfriend, but contrary to his previous experiences, he didn’t find a shocked or tense face looking back at him. Rather, Aiba was calm, and grinning from ear to ear, before he went in and hugged him tightly.

“Thank you for telling me.”

“How did you get it?”

Aiba’s giggle echoed in his ear, “I have a brain, you know.”

“I don’t mean that,” Sho said, laughing slightly. He broke the hug to look at the other then. “That I was on the spectrum.”

“My guesses were actually two. Either you had experienced some trauma, or you were asexual. But after what you said now, I understood that it had to be the second, and thank goodness it was that one.” Aiba said, relieved, moving some locks away from Sho’s eyes in the process.

“And how do you feel about that?” he asked, his feet fidgeting on his slippers with nervousness.

“I’m fine with it. And you?”

“I am of course, but, are you sure?”

Rolling his eyes, Aiba stated, matter-of-factly, “Sho-chan, I’m in love with you, not with your penis.”

Sho glared at the other’s amused expression, “Be serious. I might not have anything to offer for a long time.”

Aiba slid his hands behind Sho’s neck, holding him by his nape. His gaze was fixed on him, but it seemed as if he was looking beyond him, deep in his heart, and Sho found himself covering Aiba’s hand with his. He tightened his grip around it, afraid that something would suddenly snap in his boyfriend, and have him fly away from him.

However, that didn’t happen, because Aiba’s hand was firm on his neck, showing no sign of going somewhere else.

“You know, I wish you could see you the way my eyes do.”

“Aiba-kun—”

He was shushed with a kiss, which took his breath away.

‘If only you knew how much you mean to me, Sho-chan,’ Aiba thought in their kiss.

Feeling lightheaded at the intensity of his boyfriend’s feelings, Sho pulled away and looked at Aiba in silence. His boyfriend’s gaze softened and he smiled gently.

“Just how many times do I have to tell you that I love you and that I’ll be by your side forever until you’ll believe it?”

“I never will,” Sho said, before he found himself locking his hand in Aiba’s hair to join their lips together again.

For once, he felt free to live his relationship as he wanted. For once, he could stop pressuring himself to feel ready. For once, he could stop looking at his boyfriend and feeling expectations weighing on him. For once, he could stop feeling bad about his sexuality.

“Hey, why can I crash here tonight?” Aiba mumbled on his lips, “We could sleep together— I mean, next to each other, if you don’t mind.”

“It would be my pleasure” Sho replied with a smile.

“I have one request though,” the man said, lifting his index finger in mid-air.

“Spill it.”

“I’ll be the little spoon.”

And that night, Sho went to bed with a smile on his face. He didn’t have any anxiety or worry, because having Aiba in his arms made him feel happy, good, and at peace. And even if he would hear and see his thoughts before falling asleep, he didn’t let that bother him because that night was special, and he wouldn’t let anything ruin it.


Part Three