A raindrop for Mayumi (Yunnalesca)!

[stormies]

Title: Voyager
Pairing(s): Ohno/Sho
Genres: fluff, romance
Rating: PG
Summary: Sho is going to see Ohno. It might be a bad idea.
Warning(s): Set during the hiatus (but otherwise untethered to any current details of their real lives)
Author's notes: Many thanks to my beta! To yunnalesca, I hope you enjoy this. ♥



Before leaving home, Sho had doubts, but he resolved to push through them. After all, their friendship was important to him, essential, even, the way it was with any of the other Arashi members.

On the plane, Sho was nothing but excited. Maybe it was the adrenaline of flying, but all he could think was that it had been so long since they'd seen each other, and with every moment Sho was closer to them being face to face.

On the boat, Sho felt like throwing up. It was only him and the boat's operator because he was going to see someone, stay with someone, who lived on an island so small and unpopulated that the only way of getting there was what felt to Sho like a rowboat. Or, if the woman who'd taken his money and promised to get him to his destination was literally rowing them there, there was no like about it. Wasn't it Reiwa? Was there really any place in Japan that didn't have transportation better than a rowboat?

As if she could sense his disrespectful thoughts, the boatwoman gave him an evil look. She wore several loosely overlapping layers of clothing despite the muggy heat. Though she likely had two decades on Sho, the way she deftly manipulated her craft in the water made him feel like the muscles he'd trained so hard to maintain were only for show.

He put a touch of apology in his voice as he let that thought flow into speech. "You make this look so easy, but if I were trying to steer like that, I'm sure I'd end up in the water."

"The day is young," she said, looking away. "You might end up in the water yet."

The dialect she spoke had Sho doubting he'd understood her correctly, but the sly grin he received a moment later clarified things.

"Do you make this trip a lot?" he asked politely. Even as he tried to engage her in conversation, his gaze drifted forward.

The island that had started off as a barely discernible smudge on the horizon was getting bigger and bigger. His heart was in his throat, and not because of their means of transportation.

Something about the quiet, the solitude, the sheer scope of untouched nature on the shores they approached made him picture getting there and having it be just him and--

His mind snagged on familiar sounds, and he echoed, "Oh-chan?"

He got another glare for spacing out instead of listening. "Yes, young man, Oh-chan is what I said. Though why I said it when your mind is clearly elsewhere, that I don't know."

"I apologize," Sho said, straightforward this time. "I'm in the midst of processing some tumultuous emotions. I appreciate your patience."

She barked out a laugh. "So you're going through some shit, huh? Don't try to pretend otherwise and I won't have to be patient. We're almost there."

"Thank you," Sho muttered. He hunched his shoulders. He really wanted to ask what she'd been talking about, but it felt too rude when it had been his fault for missing it in the first place.

It felt like the shoreline jumped out at them, the boat came to the end of its journey so fast. One moment Sho was staring at the sand, the rocks, the treeline in the hopes of spotting a figure he knew, and the next he was wading through the shallows with his bags in either hand, urged on by the whoops of the boatwoman.

At his first step on dry sand, he turned back to shout, "You will come back for me, right?" but found she'd already turned her craft around and was heading away. One foot in the hot sand, the other tickled by the lapping waves, Sho looked after her like he was watching the world he knew drift away into the ocean.

Then he shook his head and pulled himself and his luggage farther up the slope. There was no one in sight, and he didn't see a path or anything, either, so he sat gingerly on the least pointy rock, dropped his bags and sandals to the ground, and sighed loudly.

He'd come here to visit one of his oldest friends, but now that he was here, it felt like his motivations had been elsewhere. Did friends go to such lengths to see each other?

Sho sighed again. Of course friends did. The problem was, this particular friend was one he'd been in love with for a long time--half his life, at this point. No matter how much he tried to compartmentalize, he couldn't always be sure of his own feelings. Sitting closely together was friendly, up until he wanted to lean closer. A hug after a few drinks was friendly, so long as he was able to get himself to let go.

A visit was friendly, unless Sho was there because he simply couldn't go another day without seeing the man he loved. He might be making an incredible mistake, but at this point, there was literally no going back. The boatwoman would come back for him in a week, according to the booking. Until then, Sho was here.

He hadn't been given any instructions about what to do when he arrived. Sho had tried to get some, but when he'd only received vague answers, he'd let it go. He'd figured there must be a plan. Ohno had mentioned that it was easier to get to his place from this side of the island, despite the village on the other side with an actual harbor, however small, instead of a deserted stretch of sand. Sho was wishing he'd opted for the side with people there to keep him from imagining himself as a castaway eating raw fish and talking to his imaginary friends.

He was starting to run through the snacks he had in his bag and how long they'd last him if no one ever showed up when there was a shout from down the beach.

Sho turned his head, then stood up involuntarily. There was a brightly dressed figure running toward him, arms already outstretched, with deeply tanned skin and hair bleached a light brown that made Sho ache with nostalgia.

Then Sho's heart kicked wildly. Suddenly they were close enough for him to get a better look, and one sight of that face had Sho forgetting all his fears.

He opened his arms and Ohno dashed right into him.

"You came!" Ohno said, arms wrapping around Sho and squeezing him tight. "You're really here?"

Sho chuckled. He tipped his face ever so slightly against Ohno's neck and took a deep breath. The smell of the ocean on his skin was inseparable from the air around them, but beneath it was a trace of that same Ohno scent as always. It was that as much as the familiar feel of Ohno's compact body against him that had Sho's chest loosening.

Even after a year without seeing each other, even in a remote location that could only be reached by a rowboat, Ohno was Ohno.

That realization sank into him down to his bones, and before Sho could stop himself, the words came out. "I missed you."

Hearing himself, he coughed awkwardly. Even as he was glad that Ohno couldn't see his face, he stepped out of their embrace. Saying that while in each other's arms was too much, especially since they were in touch nearly every single day. The chat thread that had been sporadic during the times they'd seen each other constantly had grown consistent--anecdotes of people they knew, pictures of their daily lives, conversations they fell into in spare moments that sometimes ended quickly when Sho was called back to set or a fish bit on Ohno's line and sometimes turned into phone calls that lasted hours.

Thinking about how far he'd let himself go when it came to monopolizing Ohno's time, Sho's cheeks felt hot. After all that, he had the neediness to say he'd missed him? The amount he'd heard from Ohno in Arashi's group chat was already something to be thankful for.

Ohno stretched out a hand and touched one of Sho's cheeks. Just as it felt like Sho was going to say something unfortunate again, Ohno pulled his hand back and said with concern, "Let's get you inside. I feel like you're getting burned."

The walk to Ohno's place wasn't easy--though there was a well-trodden path, it went up and down a good deal, and mostly up--and that helped Sho focus more on his physical discomfort than his increasing worry about this trip. Ohno was carrying one of the bags, which he'd taken after a mystified look at the idea that Sho needed that much stuff. Even with the help, Sho was sweaty and on the verge of a headache by the time Ohno pointed ahead with a smile.

Sho had seen many pictures of Ohno's house, so he knew not to imagine some makeshift hut made from driftwood, but he hadn't realized how small it was. Looking at the cedar-walled cottage with the terracotta tile roof, Sho didn't marvel at the way it seemed to be built on stilts or how it was situated at the top of a hill and looked out over the green hills to the endless blue of the waves. Right then, he was flashing back to how he'd felt on the boat. He was on an island with Ohno, with only this tiny place for them to share, and it was just the two of them. Suddenly, a week felt like an eternity.

Underneath his prudent worries about overstepping and making Ohno uncomfortable, Sho felt a deep pang of selfish pleasure at the prospect of Ohno all to himself for days on end. That part of him thought a lifetime wouldn't be long enough to spend here.

"C'mon," Ohno said. He grabbed Sho's wrist and tugged him along to the house, looking pleased and proud.

At that expression, Sho forgot to worry about Ohno maybe being able to feel his racing pulse. He would never do anything to make this person he loved uncomfortable. After years of practice, he knew he could control himself, even if controlling himself in that way still made his heart feel like a trammelled bird sometimes.

It was all right to be happy at seeing Ohno. Looking at Ohno's face, Sho could see Ohno was just as happy to be seeing him.

"How are you?" Sho asked. He only had one foot in the door, with his other still on the welcome mat outside, but suddenly he had to know.

Looking up from the bag he'd shoved to one side of the tatami room, Ohno snorted a laugh. "We talked yesterday, Sho-kun."

Undaunted, Sho stepped all the way into Ohno's house. "Then how are you today?"

Ohno came over and took the bag Sho was holding. "Today is a very good day," he said, without a trace of self-consciousness. "I missed you."

Sho looked into Ohno's eyes. His heart was racing yet again. He knew Ohno meant it, just as he knew Ohno meant it in a different way than Sho did.

Ohno said again, "C'mon," and dropped the bag next to the other one on his way into the room. There was not very much to the room, so it was only a few steps before he was right in the middle of it. He waved Sho to sit down on the cushions in the middle of the floor, and once Sho did, he plopped down right next to him.

He waved a hand vaguely around. "This is pretty much it."

"It is not," Sho laughed. "I've seen pictures!"

"I mean, there's the kitchen and the bath and stuff, but this is where I live," Ohno said stubbornly.

Sho looked around the small room. There was bedding rolled up in one corner, a laptop tucked to one side, and the cushions they were sitting on. He knew that Ohno spent a lot of time outdoors, and that he had made a few acquaintances in the little town around the island, but even so this was a more spare dwelling than he'd pictured. "Where do you keep your clothes?"

Ohno gestured vaguely again. "There's a shed."

Sho's eyes went round. "You keep your clothes in a shed?" Apparently Ohno hadn't sent pictures of everything.

"I cleaned out all the junk and stuff. It's nice in there now. Sometimes on rainy days I take a nap in there." When Sho stared at him, Ohno said like it explained everything, "It's got a metal roof."

Sho pivoted to the reality of Ohno's clothes in a shed. "Then it's pretty much like you've got a walk-in closet, right?"

Ohno blinked slowly at him, then grinned. "It's almost like I'm a celebrity!"

Sho gave him a gentle shove. "Millions of people would disagree with that almost, Satoshi-kun."

"Yeah."

At Ohno's quiet tone, Sho looked at him inquisitively. He and Ohno had talked about so many things during the last year, but Sho couldn't quite pin down how Ohno felt about still being Arashi. He knew there were many good feelings to it--love for the members, gratitude for the fans--but maybe he shouldn't have reminded Ohno that on any island that wasn't nearly deserted, he wouldn't be able to live freely like this.

As Sho tried to read his expression, Ohno turned to him suddenly. Caught looking too intently, Sho wanted to turn away, but something in Ohno's eyes held him captive.

"I'm glad," Ohno said softly. "To have Arashi still."

Sho held his breath, afraid to push too hard, ask too much. He wasn't sure why Ohno was thinking about the same thing he'd been, but he held in his questions in the hope that Ohno would offer more words on his own.

Ohno looked up at the ceiling, releasing Sho from his paralysis, but then continued, "I thought I wanted to be like a boat, drifting as I pleased on the waves. Instead, Arashi is like an anchor--"

"An anchor?" Sho interrupted despite himself. He had the sudden vision of Ohno wanting to be free but trapped in their group because they loved him too much to let him go fully.

Ohno nodded. "In a good way, Sho-kun. I'm drifting now, but I'm not lost. I'm not lonely."

Sho let out a breath, taking the moment to calm down. Ohno seemed deeply content. Sho needed to be better at trusting that instead of fretting about how things were going or what was going to happen in the future.

"I'm glad, too," he said at last. "I really am."

Ohno turned to him, and then, before Sho could process the movement, reached out and put his hand over Sho's. "I guess I was lonely sometimes," he conceded, a little quieter even as his gaze held Sho's again. "But now you're here."

"Hmm?" Sho got out, proud of himself that it wasn't a squeak. It wasn't like they never held hands. They were friends. Friends could hold hands. Arashi held hands. He and Ohno held hands.

It was just that it felt too fucking good, every time. Their hands fit together perfectly. Sho closed his eyes and focused on breathing.

"--so long."

Realizing his concentration on staying calm had kept him from catching all of what Ohno had said, Sho scrunched his eyes more tightly closed and racked his brain to put what he'd heard subconsciously into understood meaning.

"Ah, no, it was my fault I couldn't come sooner. Thank you for inviting me."

Ohno huffed out a laugh. Something in it made Sho feel like he hadn't deciphered what Ohno had said quite correctly. He opened his eyes to try to read Ohno's expression.

But when Ohno's face came into view again, it was very close. Sho blinked once, twice, his heart stalling on the impossible proximity.

Ohno said patiently, or perhaps repeated, "I'm sorry I made you wait so long."

Sho nearly went cross-eyed trying to figure out Ohno's expression as it got closer and closer. That was what he'd thought Ohno had said the first time. Why was he saying it again?

He had only a moment to process that Ohno wasn't stopping, and then it was like the shock of the boat reaching the shore all over again, except this time instead of water splashing around his ankles there was the gentlest touch of Ohno's lips against his.

Ohno pulled back almost immediately, but stayed within a breath of touching again. Sho had forgotten how to breathe, how to think. Prior to the--the kiss, he'd seen an expression on Ohno that he'd never encountered before, and here it was, still, except deeper: the focus in Ohno's eyes, the softness of his expression, the way he was almost smiling, but not quite. He looked like he was going to lean in again at any moment.

Unable to believe the situation, Sho couldn't lean forward, but he also couldn't bear to move back. He was sure he'd remember this expression on Ohno for the rest of his life. Other than that, he wasn't managing to work through any of his turbulent thoughts, leaving him sitting there frozen.

Ohno's eyes went heavy-lidded as his body swayed closer, but when his gaze moved from Sho's mouth to his eyes, he went still in turn.

"Sho-kun?"

Sho tried to answer, but nothing came out. He thought about nodding, but they were so close that any movement might lead them to touch. It felt like the warmth of Ohno's hand still covering his was the only thing keeping him from shutting off completely. At the same time, it only made his confusion worse.

His feelings for Ohno had tumbled out of him a while back, five years ago by now. He hadn't meant to say it. Ohno had let him down easily and never let it affect their friendship or Arashi, so Sho had found an extra well of strength in himself to keep going that same way as well.

It had been harder, after, knowing that Ohno knew. Ohno had never referred to Sho's confession again, but there was no taking it back. Sho loved Ohno--he was in love with him, and probably always would be.

By this point, though, protecting his relationship with Ohno and with Arashi was second nature. Sho had no doubt that the two of them, the five of them, would figure anything out as they went, together.

Whatever was happening here, that hadn't changed. Even as Sho reminded himself of that, of that same anchor that kept Ohno from being lost, he felt the echo of Ohno's mouth against his. Not having the slightest idea what was going on in this situation meant he still felt adrift.

"I asked you to come," Ohno said, pulling back with a furrow between his brows.

Despite needing the respite so that he could try to think, Sho immediately mourned the distance between them.

Ohno looked down at his hand on Sho's. He lifted it for a second as if to move away, then settled it more firmly in place, his fingers curling into Sho's palm.

"Did I ask you too late?"

Ohno was starting to look distressed. Sho was fully unable to bear that expression pretty much ever, so he pushed past the impossibility of speech and got out in a jumble, "Of course not, or, what?"

Ohno narrowed his eyes at him. "You weren't listening?"

"I was," Sho said instinctively, then, "When?"

"On the phone."

This didn't narrow it down hardly at all. Sho didn't know how to express himself, as it felt like all that was in his mind right then was fireworks and question marks mixed with the feel of Ohno's mouth, oh, and the look in his eyes as he'd leaned in--no, even though they were struggling to communicate as it was, Sho felt it was better that he let Ohno be the one to speak a while longer.

"I moved here, and I missed you."

Sho nodded. He remembered Ohno saying that more than once.

"I told you I wanted you to come. That I wanted us to be together."

This time, Sho's nod was uncertain. There had been a conversation with words something like those, but it hadn't sounded quite like that on the phone.

On the other hand, even if Ohno had said exactly those words, Sho was used to being careful not to read excessively into anything. Ohno might have meant something that Sho hadn't heard at all.

The only thing Sho had gotten from that conversation was the gratifying knowledge that Ohno wanted to see him, and that he was invited to come to visit. It had been clear that Ohno hadn't just been being polite.

With those words in his mind--I wanted us to be together--and the resolute way Ohno was holding his hand, Sho's mind began to spin again. Ohno looked frustrated. Maybe even a little sad.

Sho wanted to believe in the conclusion his mind was offering him, but it had been so long, so wonderfully long that he'd been privileged enough to know and love Ohno, so torturously long that Sho had been dealing with his feelings by himself. Even given a chance to express them again, even given hope they might--his brain shorted out. He didn't know how to take a step forward when he'd always been so careful to hold himself back. All the words he might have spoken darted around in his mind like a mischievous school of fish.

When Ohno looked down with a sigh, it felt like Sho's heart broke. "It's too late? I took too long. It's been changing, maybe since you said something, or maybe not that long, I don't know. I only realized after moving here. I just, I missed you. I wanted to see you. I wanted--"

Sho couldn't take any more. Gathering up every scrap of his bravery, he pushed past his shock and fear and forward to Ohno, to Ohno, and laid bare his own heart in the rush to keep Ohno from sounding any lonelier.

He came back to himself with his mouth against Ohno's. He could see Ohno's eyes, open wide with astonishment. Their noses were not fully pushed together, but it was clear he hadn't gotten the angle quite right. He had to twist to keep himself close enough to maintain the touch with one hand still caught behind him. It wasn't the most comfortable of positions.

Then Ohno pulled on their joined hands, helping Sho to move closer, and shifted, just barely, so that their mouths came together more truly. Sho had only barely managed to desperately shove aside the clamor in his mind so he could get to Ohno like he needed to, but now that clamor started to slow. His thoughts grew warm and leisurely as he settled into this thing that was happening between the two of them, this kiss with Ohno. Right then, nothing else mattered. He sank further and further into it, responding to the repeated press of lips with his fingers lacing through Ohno's, the careful brush of Ohno's tongue with an invitation to deepen the kiss. When Ohno's free hand slid into Sho's hair, Sho's breath shuddered out as something audible and unexpected, more than a sigh without quite becoming a moan.

He would've said he knew everything about Ohno, but he was realizing there were multitudes for him to discover. He'd never let himself imagine how Ohno would be in a moment like this.

It was another thing he would never be able to forget.

But when Ohno leaned their foreheads together, when he said quietly, "We made it," and laughed like he couldn't believe what was happening either, Sho overcame his lingering disbelief and pushed forward again. This time he wrapped Ohno up in his arms, delighted and shocked again when Ohno immediately reciprocated. Embracing after an exploratory kiss felt different from the hugs they shared as friends.

"I'm sorry I didn't understand," Sho said, a few minutes into Ohno's touch, a few minutes into what certainly seemed to be Ohno's feelings for him reverberating through his body. His fingers tightened in Ohno's thin t-shirt. "If I'd understood, I would have said yes."

One of Ohno's hands slid up into Sho's hair again, making him shiver. The way he touched Sho was confident, like he didn't have any doubts at all, but what he said was a heartfelt, "Phew."

Sho laughed and held him closer. Another minute later, he felt obliged to say, "I'm saying yes, but, well, it's still hard for me to believe." He meant to say more, to explain that he might hesitate sometimes, going forward, but even saying those things was beyond him right then. He was heartstoppingly grateful that he'd even managed to grab hold of Ohno before the chance slipped away.

Ohno nodded contentedly. "I'll keep convincing you."

When Ohno started to feel boneless in Sho's arms, Sho sighed and shifted away. "Do you have anything to eat? I don't suppose there's a supermarket down the street I could stop by." Even with a daunting estimate of how long a walk to the village would take, he was only half-joking.

"I'll take care of you," Ohno said proudly. He grinned at Sho in a way that lit up his face, even sitting up straight like it was filling his whole body. "You're really here!"

"I am," Sho agreed. "I'm thinking I'll call that boat lady and push our booking back a week. Would you mind?"

Ohno shook his head, still smiling. His eyes dropped to Sho's mouth again. As he started to move closer, Sho put the tip of his pointer finger to Ohno's forehead and held him in place.

"So long as you feed me, Satoshi-kun." After saying it, though, he realized there was no way in the world he could ever resist Ohno offering a kiss. When Ohno nodded, Sho pulled him in and kissed him soundly.

After a bit, Ohno mumbled against his mouth, "I'll feed you real good, I promise. Gonna show you all my favorite places. Gonna catch lots of fish. I should check the weather--"

Sho rolled his eyes and manhandled Ohno up to his feet. Clearly this was no time to be addled by Ohno's admittedly devastating mouth. If he didn't focus, they'd end up out on a boat before Sho had gotten anything to eat.

"Hey," he said, stopping suddenly in the doorway. "You have a boat! Why didn't you come get me?"

Tangled up close in the small space, Ohno smiled dreamily up at him. "I wanted to kiss you for the first time right there. Spent a lot of time lying there talking to you, wishing you were here. It felt right."

Sho felt warm all over. "Oh." Honestly, he still thought Ohno could have come to get him, but with a reason like that, he didn't plan to quibble.

He felt Ohno's arms sneak around his waist. "You can really stay two weeks? I'll take you back this time."

"I'll make it work somehow," Sho promised. It was going to be a logistical nightmare, but he decided not to think about it right then. "I'm honored you'd take me, Captain Ohno."

Ohno sighed, sounding put-upon. "I didn't want to. We weren't even together yet, but I felt like I wouldn't be able to give you back, if I was the one to take you. And now, oh no. Maybe I won't pull in to shore..."

Sho squeezed him tight again, overwhelmed. Ohno was so open with his feelings. Sho was going to have to work to show what he felt in return, even if he worried that it would all come rushing out off-puttingly after being bottled up so long.

It took Sho a while to muster some of that up to try to be as generous as Ohno. They were already bumping comfortably against each other in the tiny kitchen as Ohno gathered and laid out ingredients when Sho said, "We're together, then? Even after I go back?"

Ohno looked at him, hand dropping from the cabinet door. "If you'll have me."

He was solemn but for the light in his eyes, and there were echoes in Sho's mind of Ohno through the years with different hairstyles and varying complexions and a myriad of expressions. Sho loved all of him.

"Always," Sho said. This particular word came out readily, perhaps because it had been true for what felt like forever.

At the smile he received in response, Sho resigned himself to being hungry a little longer. Kissing Ohno in the kitchen felt just as right as kissing him in the living room, it turned out, and some moments were more important even than food.

Comments

[astrangestorm]

Is there anything softer than Yama? My heart is so full from this. I like Sho's nervousness, having confessed before and receiving a rejection - I was so happy for him when he figured out what Ohno had really meant and really wanted with this invitation to his quiet, secret island home. I liked Ohno's worry that he was too late, if only because we know his worry was unfounded. I'm so happy in this universe that they find this kind of comfort with one another <3

[whenyoudesertme]

Thank you for your lovely comment! I'm glad you enjoyed this soft fluff. ♥

[mayumiadler]

Dear writer,

Thank you very much for writing this for me!

I've been grinning like a fool the whole time while I've been reading. It's so cute and soft and full of fluff.

I felt Sho's nervousness and totally could imagine his feelings. Also Onho's concern when he got no reply. I was crying "react, damn it!" to Sho in my mind.

And finally they cleared up their feelings and I am so happy for them. I can imagine the cutest relationship for them from now on.

Thank you!

[whenyoudesertme]

Hooray, I'm especially glad you liked it! I had meant to write you something completely different, but somehow when I got down to it this is what came out. I think this warm fluffy Arashi love with Ohno/Sho romance was what I needed in my heart right then~ Thank you for your comment! ♥

[mikunicchi]

This fic made me all giddy as I read, and it was so good *sob*
I miss reading yama so much and this was such a good yama! My heart kept beating fast and I loved it so much!
The fact that Sho had been in love with Ohno for so long, and that kiss!!! Perfect!!
I also love how Ohno was like "Sorry for making you wait" it was so 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 S O F T
It was a great fic thank you for writing this dear anon 🥺❤

[whenyoudesertme]

Aw yay, I'm glad it felt like a good yama fic to you! I love writing them together.Thank you so much for your kind comment! ♥

[learashi]

This was so warm and fuzzy. I am still smiling.
It must be true love if Sho thinks that Oh-chan is more important than food.

[whenyoudesertme]

I'm glad it could make you smile! And I agree, food is high up on Sho's list of priorities, but in this fic I think Ohno is right at the top~ Thank you for your comment! ♥