A raindrop for PurplePotato83!
Nov. 12th, 2021 03:10 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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stormyexchangeTitle: Someone like you
Pairing(s): Matsumoto Jun/Ninomiya Kazunari, Aiba Masaki/Sakurai Sho
Genres: Fluff, some angst, best friends to lovers
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Nino met Jun in front of Hachiko when he had nothing.
Jun found Nino in front of Hachiko when he had everything but Nino.
Warning(s): So a break up happens but fear not
Author's notes: Dear PurplePotato83, I hope you enjoy this fic because I really liked writing it. I have a few more to write about this story, which will happen after the reveals but I do hope that you like this version too.
To my dear friends, you know who you are and I am eternally grateful to you for helping me write this fic. It wouldn’t be possible without you guys.
To my beta, thank you for dealing with this fic when it was a huge mess. I am blessed by your assistance and your encouragement.
“So this is the end,” Nino said, looking at Jun with a sad smile.
Jun looked straight into Nino’s eyes. “I guess so.” His voice was steady but Nino could see the shining tears that Jun was holding back deep in his eyes. Seeing Jun like that was making his resolve waver. Nino clenched his fist. He couldn’t.
“Well then,” Nino said, before he threw everything aside and ran back to Jun’s arms. “Take care of yourself.”
“You too,” Jun took a deep breath, blinking back some tears. “Don’t spend too much time on your games.”
Nino laughed despite himself. “I will be careful,” he said lastly. “Goodbye, Jun.”
Nino turned his back to Jun, walking down the street, towards the sunset.
“Goodbye, Kazu,” was the last thing he had heard from Jun. His vision was blurred by his own tears as he walked away. His teeth clenched and his body rigid. He was walking away from the most precious person in his life. And he was hurting him, and even himself in the process. But this was something he had to do. He had to keep going, even if that meant to break his heart. He didn’t turn around, he didn’t look back. He kept on walking, despite how his heart was screaming at him to stop. Every step carried Nino closer to a future without Jun. Every step took him away from Jun.
This was the end of everything.
And this was the start of everything.
***
Throughout his life, Nino had different opportunities to think about what he should be doing with his life. Most of these moments were mixed with the answers of, “I could do this. Or this. Or maybe this?” but never once was he able to answer the question with “I want to do this.”
He once wanted to be a baseball player, however the realization that he wouldn’t be able to become one hit him quickly. He had tried out many things, and when he settled on the music he was sure that he wouldn't be able to live off as a musician. However, he loved playing his guitar and singing so much that he didn’t really care if he didn’t manage to sell off as a musician. Moreover, life wasn't that easy, as he started as a street singer in his twenties. He used to play in front of the Shibuya station, close to the statue of Hachiko. There would be some politicians with white gloves talking to a microphone about how they would fix the bad situations sometimes. Nino didn't really pay attention to them.
Nino would always sing popular songs at that time because that was the way to get more people to listen to him. He had a very old guitar, one he found in a flea market. He remembered perfectly well that he was out of tune sometimes and that his voice was very raw since both singing and playing the guitar were self-taught. Naturally, he didn’t have many listeners to begin with. It was then that he noticed him around. He would come there at the same hour every day, with a can of hot coffee bought from one of the vending machines in one hand, he would come to listen to Nino every day.
He was so striking to Nino that he couldn’t help but notice him. He had beautiful eyes, full lips and a really nice smile that brightened his face. It didn’t take Nino too long to realize that when he played certain songs, the person would smile brighter than others. Nino had no idea how or when it started but it turned into a game for him to guess what songs this person liked. He started to try out new songs for that reason.
They saw each other like that for about three months, as the singer and the listener, however, their actual meeting took place on a rainy day, when Nino couldn't perform as he always did.
Nino was tuning his guitar when the rain came. It was unexpected, he hadn’t seen any rain in the weather forecast, therefore he didn’t bring an umbrella with him. He ran under the roof of the subway station. He was trying to dry himself off when he was offered a handkerchief.
Nino looked up, his eyes widening with surprise to see him. “You…” he stuttered.
He chuckled. “Here, let me help,” he said, reaching out for Nino’s guitar case, helping to wipe the water off it.
“Um… Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
A silence filled by the sound of rain hitting the pavement fell between them. Nino had been seeing him every day for three months, so it didn’t feel like they were strangers, yet, they didn’t actually know each other at the same time.
“Guess I won’t be playing today,” Nino threw those words just because he wanted to say something, anything.
“Too bad,” he commented. “I was looking forward to listening to you.”
Nino looked at his face with surprise. He looked genuine, making Nino smile too. “Thank you.”
“What for?” he asked.
“To know that you enjoy my singing makes it worth doing it.”
He laughed. “I have been coming to listen to you for a while now.”
“For the past three months, yes,” Nino confirmed, feeling like teasing him for no reason.
“You noticed?” The surprised look on his face made Nino smile.
“It’s hard not to.”
“Well, you're a good singer.” He shrugged as if it was such an obvious thing.
Now it was Nino’s time to be surprised. Nino never thought of himself as a good singer. He had no such ego. He just loved singing and playing, nothing more. “You think so?”
He nodded and Nino felt a blush creeping up in his cheeks. Later, he was going to blame the cold weather for the redness of his ears but for now, he was just going to let it be.
***
That night Nino learned his name, as he invited Nino to the small café he was working at. He made Nino a cup of hot chocolate, despite his refusal. Then, Jun told him some things about himself. He was trying to become a chef, and it was his biggest dream to open his own restaurant. He was working in that café to earn his living while he studied, and he told him that he was spending his break times for the last three months listening to Nino singing. Nino was honoured.
Jun also told him that Nino would miraculously play all of his favourite songs. Nino never told him that he was deliberately trying to find the right song to play, just because he wanted to see him smile.
It didn’t take Nino too long to learn what a great person Matsumoto Jun was. Truly, he had the looks, but he also had a very attentive personality. He was just like the hot chocolate he made for Nino that day. It was sweet and warm, melting in his mouth and warming him inside. Nino wasn’t a fan of sweets himself, but he loved that hot chocolate more than anything in his life.
After their initial first meeting, Jun came once again to listen to Nino, just as he was used to do. This time, the only difference was that he wasn’t a nameless figure in Nino’s life. He was Jun and he was Nino’s Jun. Now, the man would smile widely without any need for Nino to play his favourite songs. He would smile even when Nino would simply acknowledge him, or when their eyes met throughout one song, or when Nino deliberately looked at him before starting to play a song that he thought Jun would like.
At some point, they had started to hang out in their houses. Nino was the one who invited Jun to his place first. As a street singer, he didn’t have enough leisure to hang out in fancy restaurants, but he had a small, comfortable house and a secondhand game console.
So, when Nino invited him and Jun agreed, he was very happy even though he wasn’t sure why he was so nervous. He had friends who visited his place all the time but apparently, something about Jun was different. Nino tried not to think too much about it. He wasn’t ready to deal with his feelings.
Jun sucked at playing games but they had a lot of fun together. It was very comfortable to be there, not being under millions of stares and not the fear of being judged. Nino didn’t feel the need to hide himself when he was together with Jun, and he hoped that Jun also felt like that towards Nino too. Jun was his comfort, and Nino wanted to be his comfort too.
After that successful one night, they had started to hang out at each other’s place more. Jun lived in a fairly better place. His house was small too, but he had a separate bathroom and toilet. It was pretty luxurious in Nino’s opinion.
Jun would cook for him whenever Nino went to his place. As someone who was aiming to be a chef, his cooking was excellent. He would cook Nino’s favourite hamburger steak but would refuse to let him go without properly eating the vegetables. For some reason, having Jun fussing around him was simply endearing.
Approximately a year and three months after their initial meeting (plus three months more, because Jun kept insisting that they met when he saw Nino singing), and many many more hangouts, Nino found out that Jun had started to date someone.
“Eh, really?” Nino asked, wanting nothing more to hear that Jun was just kidding.
“Yes,” Jun smiled. “He’s really nice and very kind.”
Nino’s eyes narrowed. He really didn’t like the way Jun was describing this person, as well as the glint in Jun’s eyes. “Are you sure?” he couldn’t help but ask.
Jun raised his eyebrow. “Why? We had two dates already, he’s very nice.”
“You had two dates already?!” Nino exclaimed. “And when were you planning to tell me?”
“Why are you angry?” Jun asked, pretty shocked. And the truth was, Nino was also surprised at his own reaction. Why didn't he like the fact that Jun was dating someone? And that they could be together, and maybe could have a future together… The fact that Jun was dating someone didn’t mean that he would stop being friends with Nino. He wouldn’t lose Jun’s friendship just because he had a boyfriend now.
The reality dawned upon Nino at that very moment. Yes, he wouldn’t lose Jun’s friendship but then Jun would stop being his Jun. And Nino hated that.
“I…” he stuttered. “I am sorry. It’s nothing really.”
Jun gave him a sceptical look but didn’t ask further. “He is a singer too,” Jun supplied. “Maybe you know him since he told me that he knows you.”
Nino frowned. “What’s his name?” he asked.
“Yuuta.”
“Wait, Yuuta?” Nino’s eyes widened. “Takahashi Yuuta? Are you seriously dating Takahashi?”
“Yes, why?”
Nino groaned. This was bad. Takahashi was always bad news. “Do you even know him?” he asked seriously. “He is the worst out there! He is probably dating thousands of other people at the same time!”
“Now you are exaggerating!”
“Jun, come on!” Nino tried to reason. “I am aware that I don’t know him well but—”
“You don’t know him well,” Jun emphasized. “You said it yourself, you don’t even know him!”
“But I know enough!”
“How many times have you met him?”
“Enough times to know that he has Takahashi Girls!” Nino shot back. “He will hurt you!”
The look on Jun’s face was dark. He didn’t say anything but Nino understood that he had crossed the line. Jun stood up and left. When the door closed with a heavy bang, Nino groaned. He was aware that he was going too far but he couldn’t help himself. He couldn’t stand the fact that Jun was dating someone, and that someone just had to be that damn Takahashi. Nino buried his head into his hands. Now, Jun was hating him and probably liking Takahashi more.
Great. Just great.
***
They hadn’t spoken or met for almost a week. Jun didn’t even come to listen to Nino. He must have been really mad. Nino didn’t dare to call him either. He was just hoping that their relationship didn’t end because of someone who was as dumb as Takahashi.
But when a full week had passed, Nino started to lose his hopes. That day, when he dropped his guitar off his shoulder right in front of the statue of Hachiko, he realized that he had no intention of playing. So, he lifted his guitar to his shoulder once again, and for the first time in over a year, Nino didn’t sing that day. Instead, he headed towards the nearest game centre.
He played a while, before moving to the crane games. Nino wouldn’t usually brag about this but he was very good at crane games. He wasn’t sure what he was exactly looking for before stopping in front of one of them which contained sea animals. His eyes were immediately fixed on the penguins, and he knew that he wanted one of those.
He was looking into the tank, planning how to get the penguin inside the tank when he heard him.
“Which one should I take~”
Nino didn’t need to look up to know Jun’s voice. His heart skipped a beat but he didn’t let it out.
“Penguins are cute,” he said.
“Oh! A seal!”
“Penguins are easier to get.”
“Whale shark looks nice too!” Jun continued as if he didn’t hear him.
“Penguins?”
That was when Jun looked at Nino, who was still looking at the tank, eyes fixated on the penguins. Then he started to laugh, making Nino look at him.
“You like penguins that much?” he asked, wiping a tear coming out of his eyes.
Nino shrugged. “Penguins are cute.”
“Well, guess it’s penguins then.”
Nino then put his 100 yen coin into the machine. His fingers worked in a well-coordinated manner to get the crane moving. He then pushed the down button, grabbed the plush toy firmly and watched it carrying it. Nino kneeled to grab the white plush seal out of the small box and he handed it to Jun who was looking rather taken aback by the gesture.
“I thought you were going for penguins,” he said as he took the white seal from Nino.
Nino avoided meeting his eyes and proceeded to put another 100 yen coin into the machine. “I am sorry.”
Jun blinked. “Eh?”
“I am sorry for meddling in your life,” Nino apologized, looking straight into Jun’s eyes. “It’s none of my business who you date with.”
“But you were right,” Jun interrupted Nino. “You were right about Yuuta.”
Nino frowned.
“He was seeing other people, he was an idiot,” Jun shrugged. “So I dumped him.”
Nino punched the buttons out of anger. “That idiot… I am going to make him regret hurting you!” He turned around, only thinking about going to find Takahashi when Jun grabbed his wrist.
“He isn’t worth it,” Jun tried to calm him. “And really, I don’t care about him.”
“But he—”
“I dumped him last week,” Jun blurted out. “I was angry at you at first but then I couldn’t help the bugging feeling in the pit of my stomach, so I dug up some information and found out that… You were right,” he confessed.
“Jun…”
Jun leaned his back to the ufo machine. “But I was still angry at you so…” He then grabbed a 100 yen coin from his pocket and handed it to Nino. “So, can you go grab that penguin now?”
Nino looked at the coin for a moment and then inserted it into the machine. He didn’t say anything as he focused on getting the penguin. When the machine dropped it, Nino handed it to Jun, only for him to hand it back to Nino.
“You don’t want it?” Nino asked, confused.
“I wanted it because you wanted it,” Jun explained. “This is my way of apologizing,” he added, handing the plushie to Nino. “I am sorry.”
Nino looked at the penguin in his hands and looked back at Jun. “I just won this penguin,” he stated.
“Well, if you want me to win a penguin, we better go withdraw all our money and hope that they will open up the machine after the hundredth try.”
Nino raised his hands with defeat. “Sorry, forgot how bad you are at these.”
“So?” Jun asked.
“I forgive you.”
Jun smiled and Nino felt like crying. He had missed that smile so much.
“Next time,” Nino said, “Find someone you trust.”
A silence fell between them. It took a few seconds for Jun to answer, making Nino feel curious about what he was thinking. But no matter how hard Nino tried, he would have never guessed Jun's following words.
“Someone like you?”
***
It turned out to be a very perplexing situation. Nino’s own feelings were rather tempestuous, as he couldn’t ignore that he was harbouring a serious crush towards Jun, whom he called his best friend.
They tried to continue as they were for a while but once he realized, he couldn’t put a stop to all these feelings. He liked Jun very much, and that wasn't just as he liked a best friend. He could say that these feelings weren’t happening because of the momentum or they weren’t simply laced with lust. He genuinely cared about Jun, about his happiness, and despite knowing how selfish it sounded, he wanted to be that happiness.
As he was sure of his own feelings, Nino thereon started to think about what to do. Would he tell Jun? Honestly, admitting that you had feelings for your best friend was one thing, but telling him about those feelings was completely different. The risks were apparent; if Nino told Jun and he refused, their relationship would get rather awkward and eventually they would put a distance between them. The other option was for Nino to just never talk about his feelings, but then again, he wasn’t really confident about whether he would be able to handle Jun dating someone else.
It was then that Nino decided to do something. Something he probably wouldn’t do for anyone else. He took out a paper, a pen, and his guitar.
They once had a conversation, and Nino remembered it vividly. Jun had asked him why he never sang his own songs. Nino simply told him that he never wrote songs of his own. Which was a lie. He did write but he refused to share them with anyone. Jun was included to 'anyone' until that moment. For him, singing was one thing, and singing his own songs was another. He never admitted that he was afraid. That he was afraid to be unsuccessful with his own songs, with the songs he had put his whole heart into. Therefore, he never showed his songs to anyone. No matter who they were. However, it was time to change that.
It surprisingly took four weeks for Nino to make the song. But it was worth it. He was proud of the outcome and he really did put all his heart into it. He hoped that Jun would understand, he hoped that he could convey everything with this song.
It was a Friday night when Nino gathered all his courage and called Jun to his house.
“Aren’t we going to play Mario?” Jun asked confused when he came inside Nino’s house. He chuckled. Jun must be so used to how Nino always kept his game console running whenever he came.
“Not today,” Nino said. “I have something I need to share with you,” he continued as he took out his guitar from its case. “But of course, we can play afterwards,” he added as he would never refuse playing games.
“Oh?” Jun tilted his head as he settled down in Nino’s low sofa. “Were you practising a new song?”
“Mmh,” Nino nodded, as he checked the tuning.
That seemed to pick Jun’s interest. “Whose song is it this time?”
Nino bit his lower lip. If he was going to back out of his plan, this was the time. But then again, he knew that he would hate himself afterwards. He took a deep breath. “Mine,” he said as he stole a glance at Jun.
Jun was surprised, Nino could tell. He must have been suspecting that Nino was indeed writing his own songs but Jun never questioned, or insisted that Nino revealed them to him. He had always respected Nino’s choice.
Nino smiled. He then moved his hands onto the strings, not giving them a chance to question anything. He wanted this, and he wanted Jun to know what he was thinking, what he was feeling. The soft melody filled the room and Nino hoped that he would be able to convey everything to him.
When the last chord echoed in the room and Nino sang the last words, both of them were aware that there was no going back from this. For a few moments, neither of them moved, and Nino didn’t dare to say anything. He was waiting for Jun to say something, anything, because honestly, Nino had told everything he had been wanting to say.
It was Jun who had talked first.
“I thought you didn’t write songs,” Jun said.
“I lied,” Nino admitted.
“Why?”
“Why? Why did I lie, or why did I choose to show you?” Nino asked.
“Both, I guess.”
“I lied because I lied to everyone. I showed you today because you’re not 'everyone' for me. You haven’t ever been that, since the day we first met,” Nino said, looking straight into Jun’s eyes. Then he averted his gaze, realizing what he had just said. He could feel the tips of his ears burning. This was probably the first time he was being completely honest with anyone. No lies, no acting was there to shadow that moment. He was presenting his heart to Jun with all its nakedness. It was now up to Jun to break that heart or accept it.
The counting seconds until Jun said anything were so long that Nino felt like dying. But then Jun moved closer to Nino until he was able to feel the warmth radiating from him.
No more words were exchanged, as it wasn’t needed anymore. Nino had no idea who was the first to move but when their lips touched, it really didn’t matter.
Jun’s lips were soft, and the kiss was short. A touch of lips, very timid and scared of what the future brought. But at the same time, it was and would be the best kiss for Nino.
***
Their relationship changed from that moment, yet, it also didn’t change much. They still hang out at each other's house, Jun still came to listen to Nino. Nino continued to write songs, and he only let Jun listen to them. The biggest change was the occasional hugs, cuddles and kisses.
They spent a year as a couple, and for Nino, this past year was probably the best year in his life. However, all good things had to come to an end.
Things started to crumble when Jun received an offer to be the head chef of a famous restaurant. He was headhunted by the owner and it was a chance that he shouldn't have missed. Nino was aware that Jun was a very skilled person and it wasn’t just that. He had been working very hard for this. Nino was the closest witness to this. Jun had no reason for not accepting the offer. Nino encouraged him too.
That was the biggest change in their life. Jun stopped coming to listen to Nino as he started his new full-time job, and gradually he had become busier and busier. The time they spent together became shorter with each passing day.
At first, Nino didn’t really think about it. It didn’t change the fact that all the songs Nino was singing belonged to Jun even though he wasn’t there to listen. He was still the love of his life even when they didn't have enough time to see each other. Nino was happy that Jun was able to follow his dreams. To his eyes, Jun looked bright. It was a good thing of course but at the same time, it made Nino think about where he was standing in Jun's life. He was aware that he shouldn’t be thinking of this because every single time it felt like Nino was doubting Jun and Jun's feelings towards him.
It was around these times, Nino heard Jun talking on the phone one morning. It had been so long that they had spent the night together since Jun started working. Jun must have wanted to let Nino sleep longer but Nino was awake, unintentionally listening to Jun asking for more time to think about the offer to go to Paris.
Nino was thunderstruck. He didn't know how he should be feeling. He was happy because this was Jun's dream. But he was sad that he was going away. He was hating himself for being a burden on this decision because he was aware that Jun was hesitating because of him. And he was jealous of Jun because he was making his dreams come true while Nino was still standing where he started. He was still singing in front of Hachiko, still singing the songs that belonged to someone else. He was so disappointed in himself that he was unable to be genuinely happy for Jun. And it hurt Nino to the core. He was scared. He was scared that Jun was going to a place where Nino wouldn’t be able to follow. He was afraid that one day he would be a nuisance in Jun’s life. He was scared of so many things at the same time.
That made their distance grow.
Love was never a problem between them. They had loved each other so much, and maybe that was the reason why it hurt this much.
So, when Nino told Jun that they should break up, he was aware of how much he was hurting Jun. But this was something he must do. It was both for Jun and for himself. He was nothing while Jun could become everything.
“So this is the end,” Nino said, looking at Jun with a sad smile.
Jun looked straight into Nino’s eyes. “I guess so.” His voice was steady but Nino could see the shining tears that Jun was holding back deep in his eyes. Seeing Jun like that was making his resolve waver. Nino clenched his fist. He couldn’t.
“Well then,” Nino said, before he threw everything aside and ran back to Jun’s arms. “Take care of yourself.”
“You too,” Jun took a deep breath, blinking back some tears. “Don’t spend too much time on your games.”
Nino laughed despite himself. “I will be careful,” he said lastly. “Goodbye, Jun.”
Nino turned his back to Jun, walking down the street, towards the sunset.
“Goodbye, Kazu,” was the last thing he had heard from Jun. His vision was blurred by his own tears as he walked away. His teeth clenched and his body rigid. He was walking away from the most precious person in his life. And he was hurting him, and even himself in the process. But this was something he had to do. He had to keep going, even if that meant to break his heart. He didn’t turn around, he didn’t look back. He kept on walking, despite how his heart was screaming at him to stop. Every step carried Nino closer to a future without Jun. Every step took him away from Jun.
This was the end of everything.
And this was the start of everything.
For all this time, Nino had only done what he loved. He did it only because he loved it and because he was slightly better than normal people. He didn’t know if he had the talent because no one told him that before but he was sure that he had enough passion to make up for that.
That was when Nino decided to try. He wanted to try to become a better person. He wanted to become someone who had at least tried to achieve his dreams and even if he had failed in the future, he would at least know that he had tried his best. He wanted to try that for himself, and for the person he loved dearly. And for the hope that maybe one day they would meet again and that this time, everything would work.
~~~
Many times Matsumoto Jun questioned his life. To some point, he was actually a very determined person who had decided what he wanted to do in his life in the earlier stages of his it and worked very hard for those goals. He wanted to be a chef, he wanted to open his own restaurant. They were simple, and Jun had planned most of his life according to these goals and done everything to reach them.
There was only one thing that happened without planning and that was his inevitable meeting with Ninomiya Kazunari.
Jun first saw him in his mid-twenties. He was mesmerizing as he was singing in front of the Hachiko statue, without caring about all the eyes on him. Jun didn't know his name at first but he couldn't help but carry his feet over the statue of Hachiko every day. Sometimes he would play Jun's favourite songs and Jun was simply charmed by hearing those songs from his voice.
He learned his name on a rainy day. And after that, it was just history.
Jun knew he had feelings for his best friend in the early stages of their friendship, but he was too afraid to take action. Therefore, he tried dating someone else, and it turned out to be the worst date ever.
Jun still remembered the conversation they had that time. "Find someone you trust," Jun kept repeating to himself since then. But he never found someone like him. However, it took him too long to realize that he didn't need someone like him. He needed him. Not someone like him.
It had been years since they had broken up. Jun had left Japan right after their break up, moving to Paris, and he had never returned.
In Paris, he met his closest friend Aiba Masaki. He was working to be a patisserie chef back then and being two Japanese people in a foreign country, and due to Aiba’s friendly character, they had become closer.
Aiba had a boyfriend named Sakurai Sho who was working in a Japanese company as the youngest head of the sales department. Aiba and Sho had met in their mid-twenties just like Jun and Nino but there was one big difference between them.
Aiba and Sho decided to try for a long-distance relationship when Aiba decided to move to Paris to be a patisserie chef. Jun and Aiba shared a small penthouse in Paris and Sho would visit Aiba a lot, sometimes joking that thanks to Aiba he now had a platinum membership on the Japan Airlines. Sho loved to travel and Aiba loved Sho so whenever the man was there visiting Aiba, they would travel around Europe. They always invited Jun too but he honestly didn't think he would be able to keep up with the schedule Sho had made. And honestly, Jun would have loved for them to have some time alone.
Seeing them together like that would always make Jun think about Nino. Jun still remembered how it felt to have someone who completed you. He had tried to date other people after Nino but no one was completing Jun as Nino did. Nino was his other and better half, and no matter how much he wanted to forget him, it wasn't easy to let the other half of his heart go.
Sometimes, Aiba would go back to Japan to visit Sho and see his parents. He used to tell Jun to come too but Jun would refuse all the time. He didn't want to go back to Japan. He didn't feel ready for it.
In one of those visits, Aiba came back with the discovery of a new singer.
"I am telling you he is awesome!" Aiba kept on talking. "He never shows his face and his stage name is even a greater mystery. I mean, who would call himself 2-0-3?"
Jun snorted. "That's a very lame name and you know that."
"It is not and you know that!" Aiba insisted. “You should give it a listen, I am sure you’ll like him!”
Since that day Aiba was literally obsessed with this mysterious 2-0-3. Jun heard him sing 2-0-3’s songs in the shower many times and he was always humming them. Every time a new song dropped Aiba would talk to Jun about how touching the lyrics were and how the music sounded so beautiful. Jun couldn't care less. He had loved only one singer and he still loved him.
Jun once recorded Nino's song on his phone. It was an irreplaceable memory for him. As the technology evolved, Jun changed his phone too but he did everything in his strength to keep that video of Nino singing him a song which he wrote.
Nino was a talented singer and songwriter. Jun had told him that tons of times but Nino was always reluctant to put those songs out. They were only for Jun’s eyes and ears, he had told him more than once.
“I write for you,” he had once said. “I don’t care about being rich or famous. I just want to write for you.”
Jun still considered those as the best gifts he had ever received. He still sometimes thought of those songs and if Nino was still writing for him. Jun was a really selfish person. Those songs made him think of the past, where he was happy right next to Nino, and think of their break up occasionally.
When Jun first received the offer to go to Paris and learn there, he was elated but also scared. He was scared of leaving, he was scared of being apart from Nino. He was a coward back then, and he was still a coward. He still wondered if their end would have been different, had he chosen to tell Nino about the offer instead of hiding it from him. He still felt bad for making Nino break up with him. Jun was too hurt to realize why Nino told him to go without thinking of him, but he realized when he met Aiba and Sho.
Sho had a pretty stable life, stable enough for him to let Aiba go and even go with him. At that time, Nino was still a street singer, despite recently starting to play in a bar. And it was the reason why Jun had hesitated to talk to Nino about the offer. Nino must have understood that and he was braver than Jun to let him go.
Jun had his own regrets but no regret changed the current time.
***
Things changed exactly two years after Aiba discovered 2-0-3. Aiba was considering going back to Japan, to be with Sho permanently this time and to open up their own restaurant in Tokyo. Jun was a skilled chef, while Aiba was an amazing pastry chef, and their names were even well-known in the field. They had enough savings to build their own restaurant too. Nothing was stopping them. It was also Jun’s biggest dream to open his own restaurant so he had no reason to say no.
From that moment on, everything happened pretty fast. They had to travel back and forth a few times; Sho had helped them greatly. And now, they were back in Japan planning and hoping for a new, brighter future.
Jun knew that this day would eventually come. It was just a matter of time for him to come back, as this was his home country. Staying this long in a foreign country wasn’t his original plan in the first place, but when he had broken up with Nino, there was nothing else that bound him there. So, it took him eight years to come back.
Setting his foot to the ground where he was born and raised, he took a deep breath. The familiarity he felt was almost shocking, the eight years he had spent in Paris already felt distant.
“We finally made it!” Aiba exclaimed, making Jun look at him with a smile.
“It was a very long journey,” Jun agreed.
“I honestly don’t feel my back anymore.”
That made Jun laugh out loud. “You can rest all you want today and tomorrow.”
“Thank god!”
The idea of opening a restaurant together came from Aiba. It took them a year to sort everything, and now they were finally back in Japan.
“I’ll be heading home then,” Aiba announced. He was planning to head to Chiba, to see his parents and stay there for a while until he moved in with Sho. They exchanged goodbyes and got in their respective taxis.
They still had time until they opened their restaurant La Tempête, but they were very busy. Jun barely got sleep some of the days but they managed to finish everything even a few days earlier than the opening.
***
For the first time since he had come back from France, Jun had a day off. It felt weird to have time off after such busy days. He had slept in until noon, and when he woke up he had no idea about what to do.
As he was finally spending some time at his house, he realized how empty it looked and felt. He still didn’t have much furniture even after two months of living in this house. Well, to his defence, he was only coming back to sleep there, but still. He just had a futon, a table, and two chairs. He didn’t even have cooking utensils at his house, which was very unlike him. He sighed as he laid down on his futon. He was tired, but he doubted that he could sleep again. Maybe he should go shopping. It would be a good distraction.
It had been eight years. He hadn’t come back during those eight years because he had nothing left here. Since the day he broke up with Nino, Jun had nothing left for him in that city.
It felt so weird. He knew every part of this city, and he walked around with well-memorized steps but at the same time, all felt foreign. Nothing had changed. It was reassuring yet scary. He was experiencing all the opposite emotions at the same time.
He found himself in Shibuya before he realized, still walking past the familiar streets. He passed the café where he used to work as a student and he was soon in front of the statue of Hachiko.
It had been eight years, and yet, Jun was still not over Nino. He had tried his best to forget him, to continue his life without him but his mind always kept wandering back to him. They had a great relationship. They were best friends and lovers at the same time. Most of all, Jun trusted Nino more than anyone else. Jun still remembered the words he had heard from him, back in the arcade, “Find someone you trust.” Jun never forgot those words, just like how he couldn’t forget Nino.
He was really pathetic. Since the moment he had returned to Japan, Jun’s eyes were looking for Nino everywhere. He didn’t want to admit it, but unconsciously, he was searching for him, despite knowing that in a city like Tokyo, his chance of finding him was coincidentally close to zero. Yet, there he was, walking towards the statue of Hachiko, without any idea of what to expect.
There was a crowd ahead of him, people running from and to the subway. Meaningless sound of people talking covering the sound of rushing footsteps. Tokyo had always been a crowded and loud city. Various lights and sounds mingled with each other, creating an atmosphere like no other.
Then he heard it. A melody coming out of a guitar. Jun’s feet stopped on its tracks for a second. Why was he there? He questioned himself, even if it was already too late to ask that. Was he hoping to find Nino there? Was he hoping not to find him there? It was a fact that he had missed Nino, but after all these years, nothing would be the same. In the first place, there was no guarantee that Nino was still there after all these years. There was simply no guarantee that he still felt the same.
Despite knowing all these, Jun still couldn’t put a stop to his feelings as his feet started moving one more time. He was remembering and reliving his youth with each step he took. He had most of his favourite memories happen in this place. The day he first listened to Nino, the day they had finally talked, the days they had fought, the days they had made up, the days they were sad and the days they were happy. All of them were irreplaceable and precious memories for Jun.
Jun found his place in the crowd at the same time as the singer started to sing. It wasn’t Nino. Jun couldn’t mask his disappointment, as he listened to the person who was singing a ballad.
All those things I want to say
But you aren’t here
The song reminded him of Nino. He wasn’t sure why it did, but for a reason, Jun could imagine Nino singing this song. Jun stood there until the singer finished his song.
“I wonder what’s the name of the song,” Jun asked himself. He was surely going to look it up.
“It’s called Someone like you ,” The person who was standing next to him answered. He was a short guy, who had a leather bag hanging on his shoulder. He had chubby cheeks, slouched shoulders and he looked rather sleepy. “It’s the debut song of 2-0-3,” he provided information to Jun with a smile.
“Ah, thank you very much, sir!” Jun bowed.
“You’re welcome.” He had a very melodic voice. “I should get going now. Have fun.”
They bowed to each other and Jun watched the stranger walk away with unrushed steps. As the crowd dispersed, Jun decided to take a seat behind the statue of Hachiko, wanting to linger there a bit longer. He took his AirPods out of his pocket, searching for 2-0-3.
He had heard about 2-0-3 from Aiba countless times. Aiba even forcefully handed him a ticket for 2-0-3’s first dome concert a few days ago, saying that this was a chance that no one should miss. He was so determined to make Jun listen to his songs more now that they were finally back in Japan, saying that Jun couldn’t possibly ignore such a famous singer. Still, despite all of Aiba’s efforts, he was adamant about not listening to him or searching for him.
And he regretted that choice now that 2-0-3 started to sing the first lines of the song. Jun’s eyes started to burn. How blind he was, for all this time.
I wrote for you so many times, not caring about being rich or famous
He was listening to the fifth song when it started to rain. Jun looked up to the sky, the rainy season was here once again. He got up, running towards the exit of the subway, taking shelter from the rain. He searched in his pockets for a handkerchief, not finding one. It was at that moment that he was offered one. Jun looked up, to see the person who was offering him the handkerchief, wanting to thank them.
Nino.
The world stopped moving and the clock of living stopped ticking for a moment. He was there. Right in front of him. In flesh and bone. All the words got stuck in Jun’s throat and he wasn’t able to breathe. It had been so long, yet, it was as if no time had passed.
“I was looking for someone,” Nino was the one who broke the silence. He was looking right into Jun’s eyes. “Someone like you.”
“What—” Jun’s voice croaked, “A coincidence,” he tried to play along. “I was looking for someone like you too.”
Nino chuckled and it felt like coming home. “I missed you, Jun-pon.”
“I missed you too, Kaz.”
Jun knew things weren’t going back to before right away. But for now, he was home.
Pairing(s): Matsumoto Jun/Ninomiya Kazunari, Aiba Masaki/Sakurai Sho
Genres: Fluff, some angst, best friends to lovers
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Nino met Jun in front of Hachiko when he had nothing.
Jun found Nino in front of Hachiko when he had everything but Nino.
Warning(s): So a break up happens but fear not
Author's notes: Dear PurplePotato83, I hope you enjoy this fic because I really liked writing it. I have a few more to write about this story, which will happen after the reveals but I do hope that you like this version too.
To my dear friends, you know who you are and I am eternally grateful to you for helping me write this fic. It wouldn’t be possible without you guys.
To my beta, thank you for dealing with this fic when it was a huge mess. I am blessed by your assistance and your encouragement.
"All those things I want to say
But you aren't here."
But you aren't here."
“So this is the end,” Nino said, looking at Jun with a sad smile.
Jun looked straight into Nino’s eyes. “I guess so.” His voice was steady but Nino could see the shining tears that Jun was holding back deep in his eyes. Seeing Jun like that was making his resolve waver. Nino clenched his fist. He couldn’t.
“Well then,” Nino said, before he threw everything aside and ran back to Jun’s arms. “Take care of yourself.”
“You too,” Jun took a deep breath, blinking back some tears. “Don’t spend too much time on your games.”
Nino laughed despite himself. “I will be careful,” he said lastly. “Goodbye, Jun.”
Nino turned his back to Jun, walking down the street, towards the sunset.
“Goodbye, Kazu,” was the last thing he had heard from Jun. His vision was blurred by his own tears as he walked away. His teeth clenched and his body rigid. He was walking away from the most precious person in his life. And he was hurting him, and even himself in the process. But this was something he had to do. He had to keep going, even if that meant to break his heart. He didn’t turn around, he didn’t look back. He kept on walking, despite how his heart was screaming at him to stop. Every step carried Nino closer to a future without Jun. Every step took him away from Jun.
This was the end of everything.
And this was the start of everything.
***
Throughout his life, Nino had different opportunities to think about what he should be doing with his life. Most of these moments were mixed with the answers of, “I could do this. Or this. Or maybe this?” but never once was he able to answer the question with “I want to do this.”
He once wanted to be a baseball player, however the realization that he wouldn’t be able to become one hit him quickly. He had tried out many things, and when he settled on the music he was sure that he wouldn't be able to live off as a musician. However, he loved playing his guitar and singing so much that he didn’t really care if he didn’t manage to sell off as a musician. Moreover, life wasn't that easy, as he started as a street singer in his twenties. He used to play in front of the Shibuya station, close to the statue of Hachiko. There would be some politicians with white gloves talking to a microphone about how they would fix the bad situations sometimes. Nino didn't really pay attention to them.
Nino would always sing popular songs at that time because that was the way to get more people to listen to him. He had a very old guitar, one he found in a flea market. He remembered perfectly well that he was out of tune sometimes and that his voice was very raw since both singing and playing the guitar were self-taught. Naturally, he didn’t have many listeners to begin with. It was then that he noticed him around. He would come there at the same hour every day, with a can of hot coffee bought from one of the vending machines in one hand, he would come to listen to Nino every day.
He was so striking to Nino that he couldn’t help but notice him. He had beautiful eyes, full lips and a really nice smile that brightened his face. It didn’t take Nino too long to realize that when he played certain songs, the person would smile brighter than others. Nino had no idea how or when it started but it turned into a game for him to guess what songs this person liked. He started to try out new songs for that reason.
They saw each other like that for about three months, as the singer and the listener, however, their actual meeting took place on a rainy day, when Nino couldn't perform as he always did.
Nino was tuning his guitar when the rain came. It was unexpected, he hadn’t seen any rain in the weather forecast, therefore he didn’t bring an umbrella with him. He ran under the roof of the subway station. He was trying to dry himself off when he was offered a handkerchief.
Nino looked up, his eyes widening with surprise to see him. “You…” he stuttered.
He chuckled. “Here, let me help,” he said, reaching out for Nino’s guitar case, helping to wipe the water off it.
“Um… Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
A silence filled by the sound of rain hitting the pavement fell between them. Nino had been seeing him every day for three months, so it didn’t feel like they were strangers, yet, they didn’t actually know each other at the same time.
“Guess I won’t be playing today,” Nino threw those words just because he wanted to say something, anything.
“Too bad,” he commented. “I was looking forward to listening to you.”
Nino looked at his face with surprise. He looked genuine, making Nino smile too. “Thank you.”
“What for?” he asked.
“To know that you enjoy my singing makes it worth doing it.”
He laughed. “I have been coming to listen to you for a while now.”
“For the past three months, yes,” Nino confirmed, feeling like teasing him for no reason.
“You noticed?” The surprised look on his face made Nino smile.
“It’s hard not to.”
“Well, you're a good singer.” He shrugged as if it was such an obvious thing.
Now it was Nino’s time to be surprised. Nino never thought of himself as a good singer. He had no such ego. He just loved singing and playing, nothing more. “You think so?”
He nodded and Nino felt a blush creeping up in his cheeks. Later, he was going to blame the cold weather for the redness of his ears but for now, he was just going to let it be.
***
That night Nino learned his name, as he invited Nino to the small café he was working at. He made Nino a cup of hot chocolate, despite his refusal. Then, Jun told him some things about himself. He was trying to become a chef, and it was his biggest dream to open his own restaurant. He was working in that café to earn his living while he studied, and he told him that he was spending his break times for the last three months listening to Nino singing. Nino was honoured.
Jun also told him that Nino would miraculously play all of his favourite songs. Nino never told him that he was deliberately trying to find the right song to play, just because he wanted to see him smile.
It didn’t take Nino too long to learn what a great person Matsumoto Jun was. Truly, he had the looks, but he also had a very attentive personality. He was just like the hot chocolate he made for Nino that day. It was sweet and warm, melting in his mouth and warming him inside. Nino wasn’t a fan of sweets himself, but he loved that hot chocolate more than anything in his life.
After their initial first meeting, Jun came once again to listen to Nino, just as he was used to do. This time, the only difference was that he wasn’t a nameless figure in Nino’s life. He was Jun and he was Nino’s Jun. Now, the man would smile widely without any need for Nino to play his favourite songs. He would smile even when Nino would simply acknowledge him, or when their eyes met throughout one song, or when Nino deliberately looked at him before starting to play a song that he thought Jun would like.
At some point, they had started to hang out in their houses. Nino was the one who invited Jun to his place first. As a street singer, he didn’t have enough leisure to hang out in fancy restaurants, but he had a small, comfortable house and a secondhand game console.
So, when Nino invited him and Jun agreed, he was very happy even though he wasn’t sure why he was so nervous. He had friends who visited his place all the time but apparently, something about Jun was different. Nino tried not to think too much about it. He wasn’t ready to deal with his feelings.
Jun sucked at playing games but they had a lot of fun together. It was very comfortable to be there, not being under millions of stares and not the fear of being judged. Nino didn’t feel the need to hide himself when he was together with Jun, and he hoped that Jun also felt like that towards Nino too. Jun was his comfort, and Nino wanted to be his comfort too.
After that successful one night, they had started to hang out at each other’s place more. Jun lived in a fairly better place. His house was small too, but he had a separate bathroom and toilet. It was pretty luxurious in Nino’s opinion.
Jun would cook for him whenever Nino went to his place. As someone who was aiming to be a chef, his cooking was excellent. He would cook Nino’s favourite hamburger steak but would refuse to let him go without properly eating the vegetables. For some reason, having Jun fussing around him was simply endearing.
Approximately a year and three months after their initial meeting (plus three months more, because Jun kept insisting that they met when he saw Nino singing), and many many more hangouts, Nino found out that Jun had started to date someone.
“Eh, really?” Nino asked, wanting nothing more to hear that Jun was just kidding.
“Yes,” Jun smiled. “He’s really nice and very kind.”
Nino’s eyes narrowed. He really didn’t like the way Jun was describing this person, as well as the glint in Jun’s eyes. “Are you sure?” he couldn’t help but ask.
Jun raised his eyebrow. “Why? We had two dates already, he’s very nice.”
“You had two dates already?!” Nino exclaimed. “And when were you planning to tell me?”
“Why are you angry?” Jun asked, pretty shocked. And the truth was, Nino was also surprised at his own reaction. Why didn't he like the fact that Jun was dating someone? And that they could be together, and maybe could have a future together… The fact that Jun was dating someone didn’t mean that he would stop being friends with Nino. He wouldn’t lose Jun’s friendship just because he had a boyfriend now.
The reality dawned upon Nino at that very moment. Yes, he wouldn’t lose Jun’s friendship but then Jun would stop being his Jun. And Nino hated that.
“I…” he stuttered. “I am sorry. It’s nothing really.”
Jun gave him a sceptical look but didn’t ask further. “He is a singer too,” Jun supplied. “Maybe you know him since he told me that he knows you.”
Nino frowned. “What’s his name?” he asked.
“Yuuta.”
“Wait, Yuuta?” Nino’s eyes widened. “Takahashi Yuuta? Are you seriously dating Takahashi?”
“Yes, why?”
Nino groaned. This was bad. Takahashi was always bad news. “Do you even know him?” he asked seriously. “He is the worst out there! He is probably dating thousands of other people at the same time!”
“Now you are exaggerating!”
“Jun, come on!” Nino tried to reason. “I am aware that I don’t know him well but—”
“You don’t know him well,” Jun emphasized. “You said it yourself, you don’t even know him!”
“But I know enough!”
“How many times have you met him?”
“Enough times to know that he has Takahashi Girls!” Nino shot back. “He will hurt you!”
The look on Jun’s face was dark. He didn’t say anything but Nino understood that he had crossed the line. Jun stood up and left. When the door closed with a heavy bang, Nino groaned. He was aware that he was going too far but he couldn’t help himself. He couldn’t stand the fact that Jun was dating someone, and that someone just had to be that damn Takahashi. Nino buried his head into his hands. Now, Jun was hating him and probably liking Takahashi more.
Great. Just great.
***
They hadn’t spoken or met for almost a week. Jun didn’t even come to listen to Nino. He must have been really mad. Nino didn’t dare to call him either. He was just hoping that their relationship didn’t end because of someone who was as dumb as Takahashi.
But when a full week had passed, Nino started to lose his hopes. That day, when he dropped his guitar off his shoulder right in front of the statue of Hachiko, he realized that he had no intention of playing. So, he lifted his guitar to his shoulder once again, and for the first time in over a year, Nino didn’t sing that day. Instead, he headed towards the nearest game centre.
He played a while, before moving to the crane games. Nino wouldn’t usually brag about this but he was very good at crane games. He wasn’t sure what he was exactly looking for before stopping in front of one of them which contained sea animals. His eyes were immediately fixed on the penguins, and he knew that he wanted one of those.
He was looking into the tank, planning how to get the penguin inside the tank when he heard him.
“Which one should I take~”
Nino didn’t need to look up to know Jun’s voice. His heart skipped a beat but he didn’t let it out.
“Penguins are cute,” he said.
“Oh! A seal!”
“Penguins are easier to get.”
“Whale shark looks nice too!” Jun continued as if he didn’t hear him.
“Penguins?”
That was when Jun looked at Nino, who was still looking at the tank, eyes fixated on the penguins. Then he started to laugh, making Nino look at him.
“You like penguins that much?” he asked, wiping a tear coming out of his eyes.
Nino shrugged. “Penguins are cute.”
“Well, guess it’s penguins then.”
Nino then put his 100 yen coin into the machine. His fingers worked in a well-coordinated manner to get the crane moving. He then pushed the down button, grabbed the plush toy firmly and watched it carrying it. Nino kneeled to grab the white plush seal out of the small box and he handed it to Jun who was looking rather taken aback by the gesture.
“I thought you were going for penguins,” he said as he took the white seal from Nino.
Nino avoided meeting his eyes and proceeded to put another 100 yen coin into the machine. “I am sorry.”
Jun blinked. “Eh?”
“I am sorry for meddling in your life,” Nino apologized, looking straight into Jun’s eyes. “It’s none of my business who you date with.”
“But you were right,” Jun interrupted Nino. “You were right about Yuuta.”
Nino frowned.
“He was seeing other people, he was an idiot,” Jun shrugged. “So I dumped him.”
Nino punched the buttons out of anger. “That idiot… I am going to make him regret hurting you!” He turned around, only thinking about going to find Takahashi when Jun grabbed his wrist.
“He isn’t worth it,” Jun tried to calm him. “And really, I don’t care about him.”
“But he—”
“I dumped him last week,” Jun blurted out. “I was angry at you at first but then I couldn’t help the bugging feeling in the pit of my stomach, so I dug up some information and found out that… You were right,” he confessed.
“Jun…”
Jun leaned his back to the ufo machine. “But I was still angry at you so…” He then grabbed a 100 yen coin from his pocket and handed it to Nino. “So, can you go grab that penguin now?”
Nino looked at the coin for a moment and then inserted it into the machine. He didn’t say anything as he focused on getting the penguin. When the machine dropped it, Nino handed it to Jun, only for him to hand it back to Nino.
“You don’t want it?” Nino asked, confused.
“I wanted it because you wanted it,” Jun explained. “This is my way of apologizing,” he added, handing the plushie to Nino. “I am sorry.”
Nino looked at the penguin in his hands and looked back at Jun. “I just won this penguin,” he stated.
“Well, if you want me to win a penguin, we better go withdraw all our money and hope that they will open up the machine after the hundredth try.”
Nino raised his hands with defeat. “Sorry, forgot how bad you are at these.”
“So?” Jun asked.
“I forgive you.”
Jun smiled and Nino felt like crying. He had missed that smile so much.
“Next time,” Nino said, “Find someone you trust.”
A silence fell between them. It took a few seconds for Jun to answer, making Nino feel curious about what he was thinking. But no matter how hard Nino tried, he would have never guessed Jun's following words.
“Someone like you?”
***
It turned out to be a very perplexing situation. Nino’s own feelings were rather tempestuous, as he couldn’t ignore that he was harbouring a serious crush towards Jun, whom he called his best friend.
They tried to continue as they were for a while but once he realized, he couldn’t put a stop to all these feelings. He liked Jun very much, and that wasn't just as he liked a best friend. He could say that these feelings weren’t happening because of the momentum or they weren’t simply laced with lust. He genuinely cared about Jun, about his happiness, and despite knowing how selfish it sounded, he wanted to be that happiness.
As he was sure of his own feelings, Nino thereon started to think about what to do. Would he tell Jun? Honestly, admitting that you had feelings for your best friend was one thing, but telling him about those feelings was completely different. The risks were apparent; if Nino told Jun and he refused, their relationship would get rather awkward and eventually they would put a distance between them. The other option was for Nino to just never talk about his feelings, but then again, he wasn’t really confident about whether he would be able to handle Jun dating someone else.
It was then that Nino decided to do something. Something he probably wouldn’t do for anyone else. He took out a paper, a pen, and his guitar.
They once had a conversation, and Nino remembered it vividly. Jun had asked him why he never sang his own songs. Nino simply told him that he never wrote songs of his own. Which was a lie. He did write but he refused to share them with anyone. Jun was included to 'anyone' until that moment. For him, singing was one thing, and singing his own songs was another. He never admitted that he was afraid. That he was afraid to be unsuccessful with his own songs, with the songs he had put his whole heart into. Therefore, he never showed his songs to anyone. No matter who they were. However, it was time to change that.
It surprisingly took four weeks for Nino to make the song. But it was worth it. He was proud of the outcome and he really did put all his heart into it. He hoped that Jun would understand, he hoped that he could convey everything with this song.
It was a Friday night when Nino gathered all his courage and called Jun to his house.
“Aren’t we going to play Mario?” Jun asked confused when he came inside Nino’s house. He chuckled. Jun must be so used to how Nino always kept his game console running whenever he came.
“Not today,” Nino said. “I have something I need to share with you,” he continued as he took out his guitar from its case. “But of course, we can play afterwards,” he added as he would never refuse playing games.
“Oh?” Jun tilted his head as he settled down in Nino’s low sofa. “Were you practising a new song?”
“Mmh,” Nino nodded, as he checked the tuning.
That seemed to pick Jun’s interest. “Whose song is it this time?”
Nino bit his lower lip. If he was going to back out of his plan, this was the time. But then again, he knew that he would hate himself afterwards. He took a deep breath. “Mine,” he said as he stole a glance at Jun.
Jun was surprised, Nino could tell. He must have been suspecting that Nino was indeed writing his own songs but Jun never questioned, or insisted that Nino revealed them to him. He had always respected Nino’s choice.
Nino smiled. He then moved his hands onto the strings, not giving them a chance to question anything. He wanted this, and he wanted Jun to know what he was thinking, what he was feeling. The soft melody filled the room and Nino hoped that he would be able to convey everything to him.
When the last chord echoed in the room and Nino sang the last words, both of them were aware that there was no going back from this. For a few moments, neither of them moved, and Nino didn’t dare to say anything. He was waiting for Jun to say something, anything, because honestly, Nino had told everything he had been wanting to say.
It was Jun who had talked first.
“I thought you didn’t write songs,” Jun said.
“I lied,” Nino admitted.
“Why?”
“Why? Why did I lie, or why did I choose to show you?” Nino asked.
“Both, I guess.”
“I lied because I lied to everyone. I showed you today because you’re not 'everyone' for me. You haven’t ever been that, since the day we first met,” Nino said, looking straight into Jun’s eyes. Then he averted his gaze, realizing what he had just said. He could feel the tips of his ears burning. This was probably the first time he was being completely honest with anyone. No lies, no acting was there to shadow that moment. He was presenting his heart to Jun with all its nakedness. It was now up to Jun to break that heart or accept it.
The counting seconds until Jun said anything were so long that Nino felt like dying. But then Jun moved closer to Nino until he was able to feel the warmth radiating from him.
No more words were exchanged, as it wasn’t needed anymore. Nino had no idea who was the first to move but when their lips touched, it really didn’t matter.
Jun’s lips were soft, and the kiss was short. A touch of lips, very timid and scared of what the future brought. But at the same time, it was and would be the best kiss for Nino.
***
Their relationship changed from that moment, yet, it also didn’t change much. They still hang out at each other's house, Jun still came to listen to Nino. Nino continued to write songs, and he only let Jun listen to them. The biggest change was the occasional hugs, cuddles and kisses.
They spent a year as a couple, and for Nino, this past year was probably the best year in his life. However, all good things had to come to an end.
Things started to crumble when Jun received an offer to be the head chef of a famous restaurant. He was headhunted by the owner and it was a chance that he shouldn't have missed. Nino was aware that Jun was a very skilled person and it wasn’t just that. He had been working very hard for this. Nino was the closest witness to this. Jun had no reason for not accepting the offer. Nino encouraged him too.
That was the biggest change in their life. Jun stopped coming to listen to Nino as he started his new full-time job, and gradually he had become busier and busier. The time they spent together became shorter with each passing day.
At first, Nino didn’t really think about it. It didn’t change the fact that all the songs Nino was singing belonged to Jun even though he wasn’t there to listen. He was still the love of his life even when they didn't have enough time to see each other. Nino was happy that Jun was able to follow his dreams. To his eyes, Jun looked bright. It was a good thing of course but at the same time, it made Nino think about where he was standing in Jun's life. He was aware that he shouldn’t be thinking of this because every single time it felt like Nino was doubting Jun and Jun's feelings towards him.
It was around these times, Nino heard Jun talking on the phone one morning. It had been so long that they had spent the night together since Jun started working. Jun must have wanted to let Nino sleep longer but Nino was awake, unintentionally listening to Jun asking for more time to think about the offer to go to Paris.
Nino was thunderstruck. He didn't know how he should be feeling. He was happy because this was Jun's dream. But he was sad that he was going away. He was hating himself for being a burden on this decision because he was aware that Jun was hesitating because of him. And he was jealous of Jun because he was making his dreams come true while Nino was still standing where he started. He was still singing in front of Hachiko, still singing the songs that belonged to someone else. He was so disappointed in himself that he was unable to be genuinely happy for Jun. And it hurt Nino to the core. He was scared. He was scared that Jun was going to a place where Nino wouldn’t be able to follow. He was afraid that one day he would be a nuisance in Jun’s life. He was scared of so many things at the same time.
That made their distance grow.
Love was never a problem between them. They had loved each other so much, and maybe that was the reason why it hurt this much.
So, when Nino told Jun that they should break up, he was aware of how much he was hurting Jun. But this was something he must do. It was both for Jun and for himself. He was nothing while Jun could become everything.
“So this is the end,” Nino said, looking at Jun with a sad smile.
Jun looked straight into Nino’s eyes. “I guess so.” His voice was steady but Nino could see the shining tears that Jun was holding back deep in his eyes. Seeing Jun like that was making his resolve waver. Nino clenched his fist. He couldn’t.
“Well then,” Nino said, before he threw everything aside and ran back to Jun’s arms. “Take care of yourself.”
“You too,” Jun took a deep breath, blinking back some tears. “Don’t spend too much time on your games.”
Nino laughed despite himself. “I will be careful,” he said lastly. “Goodbye, Jun.”
Nino turned his back to Jun, walking down the street, towards the sunset.
“Goodbye, Kazu,” was the last thing he had heard from Jun. His vision was blurred by his own tears as he walked away. His teeth clenched and his body rigid. He was walking away from the most precious person in his life. And he was hurting him, and even himself in the process. But this was something he had to do. He had to keep going, even if that meant to break his heart. He didn’t turn around, he didn’t look back. He kept on walking, despite how his heart was screaming at him to stop. Every step carried Nino closer to a future without Jun. Every step took him away from Jun.
This was the end of everything.
And this was the start of everything.
For all this time, Nino had only done what he loved. He did it only because he loved it and because he was slightly better than normal people. He didn’t know if he had the talent because no one told him that before but he was sure that he had enough passion to make up for that.
That was when Nino decided to try. He wanted to try to become a better person. He wanted to become someone who had at least tried to achieve his dreams and even if he had failed in the future, he would at least know that he had tried his best. He wanted to try that for himself, and for the person he loved dearly. And for the hope that maybe one day they would meet again and that this time, everything would work.
~~~
Many times Matsumoto Jun questioned his life. To some point, he was actually a very determined person who had decided what he wanted to do in his life in the earlier stages of his it and worked very hard for those goals. He wanted to be a chef, he wanted to open his own restaurant. They were simple, and Jun had planned most of his life according to these goals and done everything to reach them.
There was only one thing that happened without planning and that was his inevitable meeting with Ninomiya Kazunari.
Jun first saw him in his mid-twenties. He was mesmerizing as he was singing in front of the Hachiko statue, without caring about all the eyes on him. Jun didn't know his name at first but he couldn't help but carry his feet over the statue of Hachiko every day. Sometimes he would play Jun's favourite songs and Jun was simply charmed by hearing those songs from his voice.
He learned his name on a rainy day. And after that, it was just history.
Jun knew he had feelings for his best friend in the early stages of their friendship, but he was too afraid to take action. Therefore, he tried dating someone else, and it turned out to be the worst date ever.
Jun still remembered the conversation they had that time. "Find someone you trust," Jun kept repeating to himself since then. But he never found someone like him. However, it took him too long to realize that he didn't need someone like him. He needed him. Not someone like him.
It had been years since they had broken up. Jun had left Japan right after their break up, moving to Paris, and he had never returned.
In Paris, he met his closest friend Aiba Masaki. He was working to be a patisserie chef back then and being two Japanese people in a foreign country, and due to Aiba’s friendly character, they had become closer.
Aiba had a boyfriend named Sakurai Sho who was working in a Japanese company as the youngest head of the sales department. Aiba and Sho had met in their mid-twenties just like Jun and Nino but there was one big difference between them.
Aiba and Sho decided to try for a long-distance relationship when Aiba decided to move to Paris to be a patisserie chef. Jun and Aiba shared a small penthouse in Paris and Sho would visit Aiba a lot, sometimes joking that thanks to Aiba he now had a platinum membership on the Japan Airlines. Sho loved to travel and Aiba loved Sho so whenever the man was there visiting Aiba, they would travel around Europe. They always invited Jun too but he honestly didn't think he would be able to keep up with the schedule Sho had made. And honestly, Jun would have loved for them to have some time alone.
Seeing them together like that would always make Jun think about Nino. Jun still remembered how it felt to have someone who completed you. He had tried to date other people after Nino but no one was completing Jun as Nino did. Nino was his other and better half, and no matter how much he wanted to forget him, it wasn't easy to let the other half of his heart go.
Sometimes, Aiba would go back to Japan to visit Sho and see his parents. He used to tell Jun to come too but Jun would refuse all the time. He didn't want to go back to Japan. He didn't feel ready for it.
In one of those visits, Aiba came back with the discovery of a new singer.
"I am telling you he is awesome!" Aiba kept on talking. "He never shows his face and his stage name is even a greater mystery. I mean, who would call himself 2-0-3?"
Jun snorted. "That's a very lame name and you know that."
"It is not and you know that!" Aiba insisted. “You should give it a listen, I am sure you’ll like him!”
Since that day Aiba was literally obsessed with this mysterious 2-0-3. Jun heard him sing 2-0-3’s songs in the shower many times and he was always humming them. Every time a new song dropped Aiba would talk to Jun about how touching the lyrics were and how the music sounded so beautiful. Jun couldn't care less. He had loved only one singer and he still loved him.
Jun once recorded Nino's song on his phone. It was an irreplaceable memory for him. As the technology evolved, Jun changed his phone too but he did everything in his strength to keep that video of Nino singing him a song which he wrote.
Nino was a talented singer and songwriter. Jun had told him that tons of times but Nino was always reluctant to put those songs out. They were only for Jun’s eyes and ears, he had told him more than once.
“I write for you,” he had once said. “I don’t care about being rich or famous. I just want to write for you.”
Jun still considered those as the best gifts he had ever received. He still sometimes thought of those songs and if Nino was still writing for him. Jun was a really selfish person. Those songs made him think of the past, where he was happy right next to Nino, and think of their break up occasionally.
When Jun first received the offer to go to Paris and learn there, he was elated but also scared. He was scared of leaving, he was scared of being apart from Nino. He was a coward back then, and he was still a coward. He still wondered if their end would have been different, had he chosen to tell Nino about the offer instead of hiding it from him. He still felt bad for making Nino break up with him. Jun was too hurt to realize why Nino told him to go without thinking of him, but he realized when he met Aiba and Sho.
Sho had a pretty stable life, stable enough for him to let Aiba go and even go with him. At that time, Nino was still a street singer, despite recently starting to play in a bar. And it was the reason why Jun had hesitated to talk to Nino about the offer. Nino must have understood that and he was braver than Jun to let him go.
Jun had his own regrets but no regret changed the current time.
***
Things changed exactly two years after Aiba discovered 2-0-3. Aiba was considering going back to Japan, to be with Sho permanently this time and to open up their own restaurant in Tokyo. Jun was a skilled chef, while Aiba was an amazing pastry chef, and their names were even well-known in the field. They had enough savings to build their own restaurant too. Nothing was stopping them. It was also Jun’s biggest dream to open his own restaurant so he had no reason to say no.
From that moment on, everything happened pretty fast. They had to travel back and forth a few times; Sho had helped them greatly. And now, they were back in Japan planning and hoping for a new, brighter future.
Jun knew that this day would eventually come. It was just a matter of time for him to come back, as this was his home country. Staying this long in a foreign country wasn’t his original plan in the first place, but when he had broken up with Nino, there was nothing else that bound him there. So, it took him eight years to come back.
Setting his foot to the ground where he was born and raised, he took a deep breath. The familiarity he felt was almost shocking, the eight years he had spent in Paris already felt distant.
“We finally made it!” Aiba exclaimed, making Jun look at him with a smile.
“It was a very long journey,” Jun agreed.
“I honestly don’t feel my back anymore.”
That made Jun laugh out loud. “You can rest all you want today and tomorrow.”
“Thank god!”
The idea of opening a restaurant together came from Aiba. It took them a year to sort everything, and now they were finally back in Japan.
“I’ll be heading home then,” Aiba announced. He was planning to head to Chiba, to see his parents and stay there for a while until he moved in with Sho. They exchanged goodbyes and got in their respective taxis.
They still had time until they opened their restaurant La Tempête, but they were very busy. Jun barely got sleep some of the days but they managed to finish everything even a few days earlier than the opening.
***
For the first time since he had come back from France, Jun had a day off. It felt weird to have time off after such busy days. He had slept in until noon, and when he woke up he had no idea about what to do.
As he was finally spending some time at his house, he realized how empty it looked and felt. He still didn’t have much furniture even after two months of living in this house. Well, to his defence, he was only coming back to sleep there, but still. He just had a futon, a table, and two chairs. He didn’t even have cooking utensils at his house, which was very unlike him. He sighed as he laid down on his futon. He was tired, but he doubted that he could sleep again. Maybe he should go shopping. It would be a good distraction.
It had been eight years. He hadn’t come back during those eight years because he had nothing left here. Since the day he broke up with Nino, Jun had nothing left for him in that city.
It felt so weird. He knew every part of this city, and he walked around with well-memorized steps but at the same time, all felt foreign. Nothing had changed. It was reassuring yet scary. He was experiencing all the opposite emotions at the same time.
He found himself in Shibuya before he realized, still walking past the familiar streets. He passed the café where he used to work as a student and he was soon in front of the statue of Hachiko.
It had been eight years, and yet, Jun was still not over Nino. He had tried his best to forget him, to continue his life without him but his mind always kept wandering back to him. They had a great relationship. They were best friends and lovers at the same time. Most of all, Jun trusted Nino more than anyone else. Jun still remembered the words he had heard from him, back in the arcade, “Find someone you trust.” Jun never forgot those words, just like how he couldn’t forget Nino.
He was really pathetic. Since the moment he had returned to Japan, Jun’s eyes were looking for Nino everywhere. He didn’t want to admit it, but unconsciously, he was searching for him, despite knowing that in a city like Tokyo, his chance of finding him was coincidentally close to zero. Yet, there he was, walking towards the statue of Hachiko, without any idea of what to expect.
There was a crowd ahead of him, people running from and to the subway. Meaningless sound of people talking covering the sound of rushing footsteps. Tokyo had always been a crowded and loud city. Various lights and sounds mingled with each other, creating an atmosphere like no other.
Then he heard it. A melody coming out of a guitar. Jun’s feet stopped on its tracks for a second. Why was he there? He questioned himself, even if it was already too late to ask that. Was he hoping to find Nino there? Was he hoping not to find him there? It was a fact that he had missed Nino, but after all these years, nothing would be the same. In the first place, there was no guarantee that Nino was still there after all these years. There was simply no guarantee that he still felt the same.
Despite knowing all these, Jun still couldn’t put a stop to his feelings as his feet started moving one more time. He was remembering and reliving his youth with each step he took. He had most of his favourite memories happen in this place. The day he first listened to Nino, the day they had finally talked, the days they had fought, the days they had made up, the days they were sad and the days they were happy. All of them were irreplaceable and precious memories for Jun.
Jun found his place in the crowd at the same time as the singer started to sing. It wasn’t Nino. Jun couldn’t mask his disappointment, as he listened to the person who was singing a ballad.
All those things I want to say
But you aren’t here
The song reminded him of Nino. He wasn’t sure why it did, but for a reason, Jun could imagine Nino singing this song. Jun stood there until the singer finished his song.
“I wonder what’s the name of the song,” Jun asked himself. He was surely going to look it up.
“It’s called Someone like you ,” The person who was standing next to him answered. He was a short guy, who had a leather bag hanging on his shoulder. He had chubby cheeks, slouched shoulders and he looked rather sleepy. “It’s the debut song of 2-0-3,” he provided information to Jun with a smile.
“Ah, thank you very much, sir!” Jun bowed.
“You’re welcome.” He had a very melodic voice. “I should get going now. Have fun.”
They bowed to each other and Jun watched the stranger walk away with unrushed steps. As the crowd dispersed, Jun decided to take a seat behind the statue of Hachiko, wanting to linger there a bit longer. He took his AirPods out of his pocket, searching for 2-0-3.
He had heard about 2-0-3 from Aiba countless times. Aiba even forcefully handed him a ticket for 2-0-3’s first dome concert a few days ago, saying that this was a chance that no one should miss. He was so determined to make Jun listen to his songs more now that they were finally back in Japan, saying that Jun couldn’t possibly ignore such a famous singer. Still, despite all of Aiba’s efforts, he was adamant about not listening to him or searching for him.
And he regretted that choice now that 2-0-3 started to sing the first lines of the song. Jun’s eyes started to burn. How blind he was, for all this time.
I wrote for you so many times, not caring about being rich or famous
He was listening to the fifth song when it started to rain. Jun looked up to the sky, the rainy season was here once again. He got up, running towards the exit of the subway, taking shelter from the rain. He searched in his pockets for a handkerchief, not finding one. It was at that moment that he was offered one. Jun looked up, to see the person who was offering him the handkerchief, wanting to thank them.
Nino.
The world stopped moving and the clock of living stopped ticking for a moment. He was there. Right in front of him. In flesh and bone. All the words got stuck in Jun’s throat and he wasn’t able to breathe. It had been so long, yet, it was as if no time had passed.
“I was looking for someone,” Nino was the one who broke the silence. He was looking right into Jun’s eyes. “Someone like you.”
“What—” Jun’s voice croaked, “A coincidence,” he tried to play along. “I was looking for someone like you too.”
Nino chuckled and it felt like coming home. “I missed you, Jun-pon.”
“I missed you too, Kaz.”
Jun knew things weren’t going back to before right away. But for now, he was home.
